Page 83 of Enough
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I question angrily. “If Mike said something negative, I have every right to know. You have no idea what we discussed, and it’s technically none of your business. So I don’t know what you think you saw, but you might as well tell me. By the way, we’re not dating, and I don’t owe you any explanation for who I talk to and how I choose to live my life. But since you think you know something, lay it on me. This should be fascinating.” If I didn’t feel the need to use my dress to cover up my thighs, I might throw it at him.
He smirks and strides toward me. “You’re still a spitfire, aren’t you?”
“No, actually, I’m not. I’ve told you, I’m not the same girl you think you know. Now answer the question.”
“You want me to answer a question?”
“That’s what I said, didn’t I?”
He huffs. “Please restate the question, Your Honor.”
“What… do… you… think… you… saw?” I speak irritatingly slow. I don’t know why I’m picking a fight with him, but I am.
He rocks back and forth on his heels with his arms crossed on his chest. “I saw the way he was ogling you today at the field. He didn’t like that we knew each other. He didn’t like it one fucking bit.”
“Why should that bother you? I think he was more upset that I might stealyouaway fromhimthan he was that you knew me. You shouldn’t be concerned. He never wanted me during the marriage anyway. He took a deal from his parents to marry me and another one later to stay with me. You’ll be pleased to know that I fucked up one thing after another after we broke up. So relish in this… My marriage was a complete and total sham from day one. The day I lost the baby he told me he’d never wanted me. So, see? I’m not the girl you remember. I’m the throw-away girl, and we both know you’re too good for any man’s trash.”
Nick’s jaw drops in shock at my words. I feel tears prick my eyes, and I glare toward the door, wanting to run for it. There’s something about him that always makes me want to bolt. Grandma Kay was right, but I don’t care. I rush toward the door and he steps in front of it.
“How did you manage to twist my comment into that? What I meant to say is that I didn’t like the way he was looking at you because I was jealous. You are not a throw-away girl, and you’ve never been trash. The fact that you can even say that about yourself makes me want to find Mike and smash his head in.”
I try to step around him and he angles to stop me. “Let me leave, Nick.”
“Why? Why do you always run from me?”
“Because.”
He huffs. “Because? That’s all you’ve got?”
I stare into his serious, concerned eyes and release an angry breath. I close my eyes for a moment and fumble with the dress I’m clutching in my hands.
He steps in front of me and reaches his hand out to touch my arm. “Not knowing what’s going through that head of yours is killing me. I don’t understand. Make me understand why you’re so angry.”
I drop onto the corner of the bed, lay my dress on my lap, and cover my face with my hands. “I thought I’d worked through all my feelings of inadequacy. I don’t know why they keep popping up. I twist everything you say around in my head because I’m scared. I’m so used to negativity that I don’t know how to deal with someone like you. Someone who isn’t trying to hurt me.”
Nick waits patiently.
I peek at him through my fingers and he notices me. He smiles. I cringe and recover my eyes. “I can’t say this stuff to you!”
“Why not?” he questions sincerely.
“Because you’re you! I don’t want you to think less of me.”
I watch him again through the slits of my fingers and realize I probably look as juvenile as I feel. He shakes his head and stares at the ground painstakingly. He reaches up and pulls my hands from my eyes as he crouches down in front of me. “When Mike would talk about his ex, the only thing that was clear to me was that he had mistreated her. He didn’t say much, but it was obvious to me from his words and by his actions that he sucked as a husband and a father. I know it’s been a while, and I might not know you anymore, but since I spoketo you it’s been clear to me that you’re still the amazing woman I remember. The only person who doesn’t seem to get that is you.”
“Have you been talking to Kay?” I ask.
“No, why? Do I sound like her?”
“Maybe a little. I’m actually good now, Nick. I’m happy with my life and what I’ve done with it this last year. As shitty as our marriage was, and I’m sure I wasn’t perfect, I can’t regret it because of Marlow and Kale.”
“Of course not. They seem like great kids.”
“They are. The divorce was hard on them, but it was what I needed. What we all needed. The thing is… seeing you and being around you… it scares the shit out of me.”
“Why?” he asks with furrowed brows.
“Because?”
