Page 5 of His Curvy Happiness
Landon
I plunged my hands into the soft dirt, inhaling a deep breath as the pungent scent of earth surrounded me. It grounded me in a way nothing else ever had. Reminded me I was fine. Everything was fine. I had no reason to worry about the fact that I was thirty-five years old and still single. With zero prospects.
I used that frustration to dig out weeds from my garden. The sun was warm on my neck, the late-September air cool as my sleepy little town woke up.
Mornings were my favorite time of day. The minimal amount of traffic that trickled past my home hadn’t picked up, and the only sounds to reach me were those of nature. Where I was happiest. Where no one judged me or made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.
I moved from one section of my garden to another, watching the delicate plants that were starting to show off. In a week or two, I could harvest the first of my fall flowers and vegetables. I dreaded the first frost, and the impending winter, and seeing all my beautiful blooms get buried in snow and go dormant for a few months. But spring was always around the corner.
Maybe by then I’d have my shit together and would feel like I had something to offer a woman.
I snorted. Not likely. I accepted that the only thing I had to offer was my garden. I was definitely better with plants than people, and desperate was not a good look on anyone.
I finished my weeding and checking on the plants, then went back inside to get ready to open the store. Blossom & Grow was my life. I’d planned to share it with Reegan, but that dream…
That dream would never come true. It had been a year since things ended between us, and I was finally at a place where I could admit that and accept it. She was braver than I was. Stronger. She knew we weren’t right together, but after three years, I couldn’t see a way out. Everything about our lives had intertwined. I’d accepted it. I loved her, but I wasn’t in love with her anymore, but I didn’t know how to move on without her.
I held on to a lot of anger toward her for the first nine months after things ended, blaming her for our breakup. I was finally getting better, accepting my part in it and understanding that her refusal to move in with me was really for the best.
It still fucking hurt, though. To know I spent so many years planning a future that wasn’t ever going to happen. Even if a part of me was relieved that it didn’t happen.
I’d been stuck since then, trying to find a new dream. A dream that didn’t leave me feeling empty inside.
I shook off the thoughts that plagued me most mornings as I went through my routine alone, always alone, and opened the door to Blossom & Grow.
It wasn’t long before the first visitor of the day walked in. I smiled and helped the older couple find something for their fall garden. When the husband picked out a bouquet for his wife when she wasn’t paying attention, then presented them to her as a surprise gift before they paid, I held back the bitter jealousy that surged through me at their sweet connection.
I wanted that. Too much.
“Thanks for coming in,” I told them before they left, smiling and wondering if someone would ever look at me the way she looked at her husband.
When the store was quiet, I placed orders for the winter, needing to keep flowers in stock as much as possible. My greenhouse couldn’t keep up, no matter how much I wished I had the space. I chose seeds for the spring plants I wanted, marked up my calendar for when I would plant everything, and helped customers shopping for gifts through the day.
I was finishing up with my last customer of the day when I heard the back door open and close, followed by the steady footsteps of my closest friend, Andre Davidson.
Andre was two years older than me, and I reminded him as often as possible. He’d also spent the summer falling hard and fast for a woman who ran from her wedding to a man she didn’t love and ended up in MacKellar Cove and never wanted to leave. It took me a little while to get past my unfair resentment that Andre had found someone when he wasn’t even looking, but Joelle was amazing and absolutely perfect for Andre. I was happy for them.
And a little jealous.
But mostly happy.
“Yo,” Andre said as I locked the door and turned. “You going tonight?”
Every Thursday night, a bunch of local men got together at O’Kelley’s, a bar in town. A lot of them grew up together and had known each other for years, but some, like us, were newer to the group. Andre had made more than a few business connections. I couldn’t say I hadn’t benefited from the group, too, but I was the only single one and sometimes felt like I was the last single man in town.
“I haven’t decided yet,” I told Andre.
“Why not? I thought you were going.” Andre picked up a stepping stone that read Life’s Better Dirty and smirked. “Nice.”
I chuckled. I liked that one, too. It helped inspire my online screen name, not that Andre knew that. “I don’t really have anything to add to the conversation these days. It’s all babies and weddings and happy couples.”
“We talk about other things. Plus, you love weddings.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Yes, I loved weddings. Any florist would tell you weddings were both a giant pain in the ass and something that helped keep them afloat. Back when I thought I might have my own wedding, I used all the weddings I provided flowers for as a bit of research.
Now…
“You’ll find someone,” Andre said, far too astute for my liking.
