Page 44 of Autumn at the Willow River Guesthouse
‘How?’
‘First, she starts making her eat breakfast outside. Then she starts showing up at random times and trying to take the writer out. She wants to go on country walks, go on bicycle rides, and eventually the writer begins to trust her.’
Victoria shook her head. ‘We’ll have to squeeze that into a couple of chapters,’ she said. ‘One of the hassles of writing. In a movie they’ll do a musical montage with a few snippets showing their growing relationship. In The Trainspotter’s Guide to Romance, that’s the part where Sylvia, the girl, goes crazy learning about trains in order to attract Jack, the boy, finally figuring out where he’ll be by which train he’ll be working on. That was seven or eight chapters in the book, condensed into three and a half minutes of screen time.’
Victoria sounded a little miffed at this, so Lily spread her hands. ‘You could stretch it out if you like.’
Victoria shook her head. ‘People have no attention span these days. Books are becoming more like movies day by day. So, what’s the big conflict moment that screws up their relationship?’
‘When the long-lost son arrives. He shows up, and his mother wants nothing to do with him.’
‘And what happens to our heroine? Come on, give me a decent twist here.’ Victoria plucked a French Fancy out of its wrapper and popped it, whole, into her mouth. ‘We need something a little dramatic, but not too much. Maybe a brief tissue moment. What have you got for me?’
‘The son wants to leave, but the girl convinces him to stay, setting up a meeting. However—’ Lily couldn’t help but grin, ‘—she finds she really likes him, and something happens between them. They fall in love and get married.’
Victoria looked up. ‘That’s it?’
‘It has a happy ending.’
‘So? It’s boring. And what happens to the writer? Does she jump off a cliff or throw herself under a bus, allowing them to unite in their grief?’
‘I thought you were writing a rom-com?’
‘It’s okay if someone dies if it advances the plot.’
‘What about if the writer just pretends to die?’
‘Is that our secret?’
Lily shrugged. ‘It could be.’
‘Well, it isn’t now, because you just told me. You need to come up with another one.’
‘Give me a minute. Shall we have a cup of tea? It’s lovely out here, but it’s getting a little chilly.’
They carried on eating in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the gentle sway of the willows and the last sun as it dipped towards the western hills.
‘So, Victoria,’ Lily began, hoping now was the right time for a pry. ‘Do you have children? You mentioned someone called Michael—’
‘It’s getting a little cold, isn’t it?’ Victoria said, not looking at Lily, but leaning awkwardly forward and then standing up. ‘I think we should perhaps call it a day, or an afternoon, or whatever you say at the end of these things.’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosey—’
‘—and I have plenty to go on for now. It’s your day off tomorrow, isn’t it? I shall so miss you.’
‘Thanks, but—’
Too late, Victoria had gone, heading back across the grass and into the annexe, leaving Lily to clear up. With a frustrated sigh, Lily watched her go.
22
Trees and Insurance
‘Uncle Gus, wouldn’t it be better if I climbed up the ladder?’ Lily asked, afraid that should the ladder give way, Uncle Gus would come tumbling down to crush her like a giant human landslide. ‘It feels a bit rickety—’
‘A real man is never afraid to get his hands dirty,’ Uncle Gus called over his shoulder, briefly leaning backwards, the ladder flexing. Lily, heart in her mouth, feared she was about to experience a moment straight out of a slapstick movie, and glanced over her shoulder to see where he was likely to land.
Right on top of a stone statue of a fox in the middle of a ring of bushes: ouch.
