Page 34 of Wicked Temptations
“Good session,” Ash said, voice neutral. I was jealous of how well he was keeping his shit together. Clearly, he hadn’t been half as affected as I had been.
“Yeah.”
He’s fine. I’m the one falling apart.
That should’ve told me everything. I was getting in too deep, wanting things I had no business wanting. Looking for strings for things I’d explicitly said I didn’t need. Dylan had accused me of being emotionally unavailable, and he’d been right. I’d watched him walk away rather than risk letting someone see the broken parts.
This thing with Ash was supposed to be nothing. Or at least supposed to be simple. Physical release without complications.
So why did I want to chase after him? Why did seeing him unaffected make my chest ache?
We stood there in the red emergency lighting while chaos swirled around us as the other performers headed through to the change rooms. I wanted to say something. Do something. Pull him back, or push him away, or figure out what the hell this had become.
Riley skated past, full of pent-up energy. She’d already changed into street clothes, though her hair was still in crazy space buns and she had fake blood on her throat. “Hey, a bunch of us are hitting Murphy’s. You coming?”
“I don’t know.” I started unbuckling my vest. “It’s pretty bad out there.”
“Exactly. No better time to get drunk.” She looked at Ash. “You in?”
He hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”
What the fuck? Ash had never said yes to an invitation. Not that my crew were lining up to invite the new kid anywhere, but on the rare occasion they did, he always shot them down.
Something hot flared through me. Jealousy? Disappointment? I didn’t want to examine it.
“Come on, Jude. You can’t be outdone by the new kid!” Riley teased. I had the feeling she knew exactly what she was doing.
I should say no and go home where I could spend the night not thinking about Ash in regular clothes or his hand on my throat. Or the fact that I was starting to suspect I wanted more than just quick fucks in dark places.
“Yeah. I’ll come.”
I was so a fucking idiot.
Chapter 10
Ash
Ialmostturnedaroundthree times before I made it to Murphy’s.
The fourth time, I had my hand on my car door handle, ready to get back behind the wheel and drive off, when lightning split the sky and made the decision for me. Driving through a thunderstorm to escape my own bad choices seemed like overkill.
Just go in. Have one drink. Leave.
Murphy’s was chaos. Wall-to-wall bodies, voices competing with thunder, and the sports game blaring from every screen. The air hung thick with humidity from wet clothes and the smell of spilled beer. I stood just inside the door, water dripping from my jacket, wondering what the hell I was doing.
Getting under Jude’s skin. That was the plan.
After that photoshoot, after feeling his pulse hammer against my fingers while I held his jaw, after watching his eyes go dark and hungry despite the cameras, I needed to reclaim some control. Even if it was petty. Even if it was stupid.
So I’d make him watch me with his crew. Make him paranoid.
Riley spotted me first. She waved from a booth near the back, her space buns still perfectly intact. I pushed through the crowd, bodies pressing close, until I reached the table and dropped into the seat she’d saved.
She slid a glass of something amber toward me.
“Didn’t know what you drank. Got you a whiskey.”
“Perfect.” I took a sip, letting the burn settle in my chest. The alcohol helped. A little. “Thanks for the invite.”
