Page 75 of The Chaos She Brings
Tess is missing.
Taken.
Alone.
Scared.
My chest feels like it’s collapsing in on itself. My fucking soul aches, every beat of my heart a reminder that I’m powerless. I’m supposed to be the one who keeps her safe. But now, she’s out there somewhere, and I can’t protect her.
I’m not supposed to feel this way.
I shouldn’t want her.
I shouldn’tneedher.
But it’s too late. She’s already burrowed under my skin, woven into every part of me. Her laugh, her smile—hell, even the way she’s always humming some off-key tune—are branded into my mind. I can’t escape it. Can’t stop thinking about how she makes me feel like I can breathe, like I don’t have to be perfect, like I can just... be.
She doesn’t judge me. Doesn’t try to fix me. She just lets me exist. But she doesn’t change who she is for me either.
I miss her. More than I ever thought possible.
The way her face lights up when she talks about the stupid, meaningless things that nobody else would care about. But to her, they matter. And somehow, that made them matter to me too.
I told myself it would stay casual. I told myself I could push her away before it ever got too deep. But that was a fucking lie.
It’s too late now.
25
Bordering On Delirium
Kai to Tess: You were never supposed to matter to me. You’re completely wrong for me. [unsent]
Tess
DespitethefactthatI’ve been kidnapped and kept locked up in what’s essentially a glorified prison cell, I’m actually feeling pretty optimistic about my chances of survival.
Aristov—that’s the guy who stormed in after my screaming session—brings me whatever I ask for (within reason), and for the most part, I’m left alone.
Which, honestly, is kind of a problem.
I don’t like silence. It makes my skin crawl. So, I’ve started talking to myself.
At first, I kept it in my head, but I don’t reallycare if they think I’m crazy anymore. Now, I’m unashamed in my private ramblings.
“It’s been at least five days. I know because I’m on my period now, and I was five days out when they took me. Unless I’m early? That’s a possibility. Stress does that. But itfeelslike I’ve been here longer. How long are they going to keep me? Will they ever let me go? Are they going tokill me?They can try. But I’m pretty crafty. I bet I could take one of them down with me.”
My mind drifts to Kai, something I’ve been trying not to do because when I think about him, I cry, and my throat closes up.
I’m in denial that he’s gone.
“Maybe he looked dead, but he actually was alive and someone found him. Or maybe he’s become undead. Like a zombie. I think I’d still be with him if he was. I’d have to find a way to stop him from biting me though. Or maybe Ilethim bite me and we can be undead together.”
I fear I may be bordering on delirium at this point.
The door clunks open, yanking me from my thoughts. I stop pacing and step back automatically, muscles tensing.
They untied me after the first day, so I’ve made a habit of doing laps around my little prison—gotta get those steps in.
