Page 84 of Knotting the Firefighters
Dawn creeps closer, horizon brightening incrementally, nature's countdown to the moment of truth I'm desperately trying to delay.
Wendolyn sleeps on, trusting, vulnerable, completely unaware that I'm contemplating a decision that will shatter whatever fragile future we've been building.
I'm sorry.
For being torn.
For not knowing how to choose between dreams.
For loving you enough that leaving destroys me, but staying might destroy us both anyway.
My lips find her forehead again—another kiss that tastes like goodbye, another gesture that carries weight she can't feel while unconscious.
A few more hours.
Then I have to decide.
Choose the path that defines everything that follows.
Make the call that determines whether I'm Fire Captain Hayes or Wendolyn's Alpha.
Pick the future that requires abandoning the alternative.
The window lightens further, stars disappearing into approaching day, time marching forward with cruel inevitability.
Soon.
Very soon.
I'll have to stop deliberating and start acting.
Make the choice that's been building since LA called.
Commit to a decision that will either make or break me forever.
DAWN'S FAREWELL
~WENDOLYN~
The warmth of Calder's embrace surrounds me likeacocoon—protective, familiar, devastatingly temporary.
I'm awake.
Have been for several minutes now, hovering in that liminal space between sleep and consciousness where you can pretend you're still dreaming, where reality hasn't quite solidified into unavoidable truth.
But pretending doesn't change anything.
Time continues its relentless march forward regardless of my internal pleas for it to slow, to pause, to grant me reprieve from the inevitable. The clock on my nightstand glows accusingly—4:47 AM, numbers that represent approaching dawn, approaching decisions, approaching the moment when Calder and I stop avoiding what we both know is coming.
He's going to leave.
Accept the LA position.
Chase the dream he's earned through years of dedicated service.
The certainty sits heavy in my chest, a truth I've known since he first mentioned the offer. Because I understand CalderHayes—his ambitions, his pride, his fundamental need to prove himself after years of being dismissed as a perpetual rookie.
And I can't ask him to stay.
