Page 79 of The Moon & His Tides
“Who says you can’t have what you want?” Savannah asked, a new edge worked into her tone.
I shrugged inelegantly. “Life, maybe? It’s taught me this lesson before.”
“How do you know if you don’t ask?” she rebutted. “Your incredible film is in preproduction, and you’re about to tell your mother and sister you have enough money to send them to the States. The world is yours for the taking and ours for the giving if it’s in our power.”
Adam was silent, a Greek statue looming enigmatically over us both.
And even though Savannah asked the question, it was Adam I knew I had to ask to grant my wishes. He was the moon in my sky, the one who quietly ruled me in elemental ways I’d never known existed.
“I want to be allowed to fall in love with you,” I told them, twisting fully between Savannah’s legs, my hands clasping her thighs like she was a life raft in a stormy sea. “I want to be allowed to tell you I’minlove with you, and not saying the words is breaking my heart every day.”
“Sebastian,” Adam said. It was a warning and an entreaty all in one.
Love less, he demanded.
Love me more, he whispered.
“No, Adam,” I said, clear and strong. Shaking off the nerves and the fear of rejection I knew was coming. Pretending for one crystal moment that they could be mine and want me to be theirs in a way that mattered.
In a way that could be forever.
“You don’t need to be jealous of anyone else because I love you both more than I ever understood the human heart could love before meeting you. I know it doesn’t make sense, and it goes against the rules of our arrangement, but I don’t care. I don’t want an arrangement, anymore. I want alife. A life where someone like me is allowed to love two people as celestial as you.”
“Sebastian,” Savannah murmured, cupping my jaw in one of her small, cool hands. “Why are you speaking like we’ve already broken your heart and cast you out on the streets?”
Because that’s where this ends, I wanted to cry out in desperation, pound my chest and gnash my teeth in impotent rage.Don’t be foolish, bella amora mia,this was always how it would end.
She seemed to read it in my face and made a soft, broken noise in the back of her throat before surging forward to kiss me, lips gentle and clinging. When she pulled away, her eyes were the palest blue, so translucent I could see through to the bottom of her soul.
“I love you, too,” she whispered so quietly, the words were mostly mouthed. “I love you, and I don’t know what that means except that you make me feel like the best version of myself. You make us feel complete.”
The noise that rose from my chest was choked, hope cut off at the pass.
“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” I warned. “I know I’m not––”
“Stop,” she ordered fiercely, grabbing my face in both her hands. “I’ve never said something so honest in my life. I love you in all its terrifying and awe-inspiring glory.”
My heart beat so strong and heavy in my chest it felt like a battering ram threatening to eradicate the walls.
“La donna dei miei sogni,” I murmured against her lips, cradling her face like the gift it was. “You are the woman of my dreams.”
“And the man of mine,” she agreed without hesitation, sealing her statement with the sweetest kiss I’d ever received.
The Patek Philippe watch was gorgeous, but it had nothing on that moment there with a woman I’d loved for weeks and never thought in my wildest hopes might love me too.
My gaze sought Adam over Savvy’s shoulder to find him glaring at me with palpable frustration.
His jaw ticked as I waited.
And waited.
Not for a declaration of love like Savannah, but something…
A stray hope to cling to the way I clung to Savvy’s face as she kissed me.
But the moon had always been elusive, and instead of participating in our joy, he watched, quiet and sullen as I brought Savannah even closer and kissed all the love right out of her sweet mouth.
Only, no matter how much I ate, there was a bottomless hunger in my heart I was worried would never be quenched.
