Page 53 of The Moon & His Tides
They also were not physically affectionate outside of our “playdates” as Adam called them. Adam was almost painfully careful not to stand too close or touch too obviously when we were in public, though truthfully, we spent most of our time together shut away from the world in their house or at Pinewood Studios or Andrea’s house.
Even Savannah seemed to find casual affection distasteful when we were alone.
It was an odd house with odder people, but I was shocked by how much I loved living with them both.
I was used to a full house; growing up in a tiny home in Naples with three sisters, one of those a twin, and an Italian mother was often a chaotic, cacophonous experience. Living with the Meyerses was leagues different than that, and I might have felt lonely or even used if it weren’t for those nighttime rendezvous and daily flashes of intimacy they unwittingly gave to me.
The moment Savannah admitted she missed proper American barbecue, I’d surprised her with a Styrofoam case of pulled pork and brisket from Prairie Fire, where the pit master was a direct transplant from Kansas. She’d smeared barbecue sauce on my mouth with her fingers and licked it off with a girlish giggle. I’d fed her messy pork with my fingers and then made her lick them off when we were done.
Another when she got a cold the night before a movie premiere and had to stay home instead of going out with Adam. She was mostly upset, she’d informed me, about not wearing the gorgeous Dior vintage gown hanging in her closet for the evening. So I’d stepped into one of the suits the Meyerses had bought for me––hand-tailored on Savile Row––and presented myself to Savannah, where she was curled up on the couch watching the red carpet. She’d looked so small and young, make-up free and melancholy, and younger still when she’d taken in my appearance and the dress I had carefully folded over one arm and started to smile.
We watched the rest of the coverage together in our fancy clothes on the carpet in front of the television while eating popcorn.
It was different with Adam. We were either playing with Savannah, where our focus was always almost wholly on her, or we were working together on his lines or on preparingBlood Oath. He wanted to fast-track everything, especially when he found out Cosima and I were paying not only for Mama andElena in Naples, with hopes to move them to the United States soon, but also for Giselle’s tuition atL’École des Beaux-Artsin Paris. While he worked on securing financing and studio backing, Andrea and I worked over the script. It was incredible to work with an Italian on my story about Italian characters, but it was even better to have someone who understood my language and culture. It made me homesick while simultaneously soothing the ache of missing stitched into my chest.
With Adam, he showed his true self in smaller but more frequent ways than his wife. He did it by putting his hand on my thigh whilehedrove us both, always, around in his Aston. When he woke me up each morning before Savannah, with a bite to my shoulder or a kiss to my neck, taking advantage of the private moments of the morning to touch me not like a lover but like a partner. As though he just wanted to touch me because he liked me. When he was home, we worked out together in their basement home gym, pushing each other and competing so that every exercise was a game. Seeing him half naked and slicked in sweat was a lesson in temptation I’d never expected to learn.
Even though he was often gone, he would text me articles he thought I’d find interesting about the industry or ask my thoughts on his next projects. He valued me for more than my beauty in ways that no one outside of my family ever had before.
I was quite honestly living on cloud nine for that entire month. My only anxieties came from wondering when Adam would finally get around to touching me beyond a naked caress as he used and ordered my body to please his wife. We hadn’t gone past holding each other’s cocks, and I was astonishingly eager to try more, but not without his coaching. It was starting to keep me up at night after my lovers had dropped into sleep, wondering when and how.
Otherwise, for the first time in my life, I was truly happy. Until one morning, a month after moving, when a stranger reminded me of my reality.
I’d dropped Adam off for his read-through, and I was heading to meet Andrea for coffee nearby when I quite literally ran into a slim, dark-haired man.
“Watch where you’re going,” he barked, shoving away from me a little harshly for something that was just an accident.
I arched an eyebrow at him, unconsciously channeling Adam. “I think you were the one to run into me, actually. But no harm, no foul. Have a good rest of the morning.”
I made to move past when I felt a firm grip on my elbow. When I stopped and looked back with a glare, the man was frowning at me.
“You’re Sebastian Lombardi.”
I blinked, a little thrown off by the recognition. Oh, a few regulars at Finborough Theatre had recognized me during the play’s run through the late summer and fall, but it wasn’t anything like a regular occurrence.
“Yes, I am.”
His face broke into a slight, mean smile, and he shifted his grip to my hand, shaking it aggressively. “Well, what a boon. It’s my pleasure to meet you.”
“Why exactly?” There was something about his demeanour that was vaguely threatening.
He was slightly built with pretty features and a sharp chin that, combined with his mean grin, made him look vulpine.
“Well, I’ve been curious about who Adam and Savannah replaced me with.”
Cazzo.
The words rocked me back like a blow to the sternum, but I was practiced enough at acting to keep the way I reeled beneath my skin.
“That’s curious. I thought their last chauffeur was an old man. You look remarkably well for your age.”
He flinched slightly, and his smile grew even more malicious as his grip tightened painfully on my hand. “I was before Albert, and I think we both know I occupied a very different position than that.”
“Given I don’t even know your name, I don’t think you should make assumptions about anything,” I warned, squeezing his hand even more tightly in return. “And I wouldn’t want to be caught spreading any gossip about the Meyerses. I think they won their last defamation suit fairly handily.”
He laughed then, a sharp sound like nails on a chalkboard. “Oh, don’t worry about your lovers’ reputation, pretty boy. I signed all the same NDAs you did. I just wanted to warn you, man to man, former boy toy to current, that the Meyerses will drop you just when you’re starting to feel comfortable. They’ll make you such pretty promises and build you up until you think you might burst, and then they’ll drop you from such a great height, you’ll shatter at the impact. It took me six months to get myself together again. I’m only trying to save you the same aggravation. Adam’s internalized homophobia is so bad, he can barely stand himself when he’s with a man, and Savannah just wants to be worshipped. She doesn’t care by whom.”
“Who is calling who a pretty boy toy?” I asked, accent thickening with rage, his fingers creaking under my grip until he winced. “I may be young, but I’m no boy. I’ve seen more in my life than you have in any of your wildest dreams or nightmares. You worry about yourself; it seems you need to if being let go by your employers took such a toll on you. But me? I’ll be just fine. Now, good day, stranger.”
