A question lingers in my mind, but I refuse to ask it. Not now. It doesn’t matter.
He closes his eyes and the monitor beeps, beeps, beeps.
Mom sniffles.
After a while, he looks at me. “I love you, Delia. I’m so, so proud of you, of all you’ve accomplished in such a short time.”
I blink away tears. “I love you, Daddy. I learned it all from you.”
He squeezes my hand, surprisingly strong. “Learn one more thing from me.”
“Okay?”
“Have fun. You work too much.” He tries a smirk, mostly succeeds, but it’s faint. “And get laid!”
“Daddy!” I scold, but my heart’s not really in it.
“For real. You’ve never brought a boy home.”
“I go on dates. I’ve had boyfriends. I’ve just never met anyone worth bringing home.”
“Oh. Well, find one. A good one. Someone…someone who’ll make you laugh and…force you to relax.”
I snort. “Not likely, Daddy. I was born grumpy, remember?”
He laughs, and in something out of a cliche Hallmark movie, it turns into a dry, rattling cough. “You were. You came out yelling and you never…stopped.”
“I don’t yell.”
“You don’t need to. Your attitude does it for you.”
“I’m a top boss, Daddy. You taught me.”
He pats my hand, squeezes it. “For your next trick, try being…just a girl.”
I shake my head, tears falling. “I don’t know how.”
He sighs. Eyes close. “You’ll meet a man who can show you. Let him.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
He fixes me with that stern, knowing look, rising a little. “Promise.”
“I promise.”
He nods. Closes his eyes again, sinking back into the pillow. “That’s a promise you’re making me on my deathbed, Delia. You break it, I’ll haunt you.” A smirk, his eyes still closed. “In my underwear.”
I laugh through tears. “I’ll keep it, I promise I will.”
He looks past me, to Mom, who’s sitting in a chair, watching, dry-eyed but only just barely. “Now let me talk your mom a bit before I go.”
Like he’s taking a trip.
I kiss his forehead, and leave the room. When I’m halfway down the hall, almost to the kitchen, I collapse backward against the wall, clapping my hand over my mouth to stifle the sobs.
I can’t.
God, I can’t.