Page 102 of Light in the Dark
I step forward. "I think we oughta get her—" I almost say home, but stop myself. "Back to the house. I appreciate all of you."
Riley straps the giant teddy bear into the bed of my truck while I help Ember climb up into the cab and buckle her in. A few minutes later, everyone has said their goodbyes, and we're heading toward my house.
Once we're off the hospital campus, Ember rests her head against the seatback with a ragged sigh. "Thanks for getting me out of there, Fee. Your friends are amazing. I just—"
"They're your friends now, too," I tell her. "But they can be a lot."
"I've never really had a friend group," she whispers. "I don’t know how to…" she shrugs. "I don't know how to be a person who lives in one place and has all these friends."
"They don't expect anything from you, Ember," I tell her. "They like you for you. So just be you."
She glances at me. "Fee, you've been—"
I cover her mouth with my hand. "Nope. We are not doing that. Not now."
She blinks hard. "But there are things we need to talk about."
"Sure. But not now." I take her hand. "Right now, we get you settled. Doc said it'll be a few months of PT and rehab and all that before you're totally clear to go back to life as normal."
She works her jaw, shaking her head and fighting tears. "I don't think my life will ever go back to normal, Fee." She groans. "God, I fuckinghatebeing so emotional all the goddamn time."
I just squeeze her hand. She withdraws her hand from mine and wipes at her face, sniffing a few times and then shaking her head like a dog shaking off water.
"Ugh. Okay." She takes my hand in both of hers, rubbing her thumb over my knuckles. "I have to say this. So just let me, please."
"If you say thank you, we're fighting," I say.
She stares at me for a moment. “OfcourseI'm gonna say thank you, Felix. I…I…I don't know where I'd be without you. You've been there with me at every turn since the wreck, and now you're letting me live with you while I start the real recovery…I just…"
"Ember—"
"No, look—I know you don't wanna talk about what happened. And my memory is still pretty fuzzy. I almost don't care what happened. You've been there for me when I needed someone in my corner the most." She kisses my knuckles. "So yes—thank you. You don't owe me anything. And I…I don't even know what we are, Fee. I just know that…that I care about you deeply and I'm grateful to have met you."
My throat goes tight and hot. "I care about you, too."
"But we're talking about it soon, Fee. Right?"
I shrug. "Sure."
She laughs. "Very convincing response."
"I just think you need to focus on getting better."
"And I think it's equally important that I understand what happened and why. My emotions are all mixed up and complicated and I need to understand." She pauses. "Besides, if we don't talk about it, how are we supposed to move forward together?"
"I…"
"Youdowant to move forward together with me, don't you?" she asks.
"Yeah, but…once we talk about it, things might change. For you."
We pull up to my driveway, and I park behind Pumpkin—mercifully, our arrival puts off the rest of that discussion.
Ember shoves open her door and wiggles to the edge of the seat. "Help me out, Fee, I need to see her."
I shut off the motor and circle the hood to stand in the doorway. She reaches for me, her arms wrapping around my neck as mine go around her waist. I lift her out of the cab but don't immediately set her down; her big silver eyes pierce mine, fraught with a complicated swirl of emotions. Her lips are close, her breath warm.
God, I want to kiss her.
