Page 144 of Light in the Dark
Cole sighs. "Little bit of jealousy mixed in with a little bit ofI wishmixed in with a little bit of knowing there's no way in hell that kinda goodness is ever coming your way."
I nod. "Yeah, pretty much." I glance at him. “You too?"
"Yep."
"Wanna talk about it?” I ask.
"Nope."
"Good,” I say. “Me either."
Finally, the bride and groom show up and we all take our seats at the long rows of white-cloth-covered picnic tables lined up in the backyard near the barn. It's late evening by now, a beautiful late spring day. Fireflies wink. The sunset stains the sky pink and purple. Crickets sing as the band goes quiet.
Salads are served by catering company servers.
The band leader speaks into the microphone, unclipping it from the stand and bringing it to me. "Riley Crowe, the groom’s brother, will give the first speech."
I stand up and accept the mic. Wipe my hands on my slacks, one and then the other, and try to ignore the hammering of my heart.
"Uh, okay. Whose idea was it to let me have the mic?" I grin. “Too late now, bitches. Oops, probably shouldn't say that, huh? Well, I am who I am. So, Felix. Bro. Remember back in tenth grade?"
Felix drops his head to the table with a thunk the whole audience can hear, and everyone laughs. "Donottell that story, Riley Crowe."
I scan the crowd, grinning. "Oh yeah, I'm telling that story. Mainly because I bet Ember hasn't heard it. So, it goes like this…"
And I launch into a greatly embellished version of a real event in our lives involving cow tipping, a rogue tractor, a shotgun full of rock salt, and Felix only avoiding arrest because Cole's dad was the sheriff at the time.
I've got everyone howling with laughter, wiping tears away, and doubled over by the time I'm done.
"So, that story is about eighty percent true," I say. "And only we know what's not true. You'll all just have to wonder." I turn to Felix. "Idohave a serious side, though. It’s very small, and you only get it for the next thirty seconds, bro, so enjoy it.”
I pause, breathe out my shaky nerves.
“I fucking love you,” I tell him. “You are theonlyreason I'm where I am in life, Fee. You let me crash on your couch when I had nowhere else to go. You gave me a job when no one would hire me— not even people who knew me my whole life. You took a chance on me after I blew up my life. I owe youeverything, brother, and I couldn’t possibly be happier that you found Ember. Enjoy the life you're gonna have, because you deserve it." I turn my attention to Ember. "Sparky. I'm sorry you're saddled with my asshat of a brother. Good luck." I pretend to sit down, to much laughter. "No, for real, I think Heaven is missing one of its angels, because that's the only explanation for a girl like you taking on the gut job project that is my brother.” I sigh a laugh, knuckling my forehead. “I’m trying to be serious, I promise. You put a smile on his face, and pretty much everyone here can attest to the fact that for a very, very long time, that was a rare thing. So, instead of any more tasteless jokes, I'm just gonna propose a toast to you two.” I lift my glass of champagne. “To a life of happiness, laughter, lots of kids, and all the love in the world. To you guys."
I sip champagne and take my seat. Fake laughter and eat food. Drink too much. Dance with my friends and avoid Raina like a plague-ridden rat…for her own good.
Finally, I can take no more.
It's midnight and the party shows no signs of slowing down. The old folks and married-with-kids couples have long since taken off, and Ember is holding court under the tent while Felix cuts loose as I've not seen him cut loose in a long, long time. Apparently, Ember gave him permission to party for the both of them, since she can't.
I cruise through the crush of dancers to find my brother. He's at the center, black bowtie loose around his neck, shirt unbuttoned to mid-chest, coat long since abandoned, hair sweaty.
I clap him on the shoulder, and he turns to me. "Hey, Fee." I pull him into a hug. "Congrats, man. I'm happy for you and proud of you."
He hugs me back with rib-jarring slaps. "Love you, bro."
"Hey, I'm gonna bounce, okay?"
He pulls back, holding onto my shoulders. "You good?"
I bury it all, because no one can see through my shit like him. "Yeah, I'm good. Just partied out."
He cackles. "Okay. Pussy."
"Oh shut up."
He sees it, of course, the insightful bastard. "Rye, promise me you're good."
