Page 23 of Light in the Dark
I laugh. "Sorry, but I have a hard time seeing her pissed off."
He rumbles a laugh. "It was a shock. But man, she washot, like pissed all the way the fuck off. And I was offering her suggestions for how to handle it. Thought I was helping."
"But you weren't?" I surmise.
"Nope. She yelled at me, which she's never done. She was like, Bear, stop trying to help and justlisten. I don't need your damn help. I don't want you to fix anything. I can handle it myself. Just fucking listen to me."
I scrape my ball cap off my head and muss my sweaty hair. "She doesn't want to talk about it."
"She doesn’t know you."
"I asked her out and she…well, she didn't say no, but she hesitated a long fuckin time, like, well, I dunno…"
He shakes his head. "You're an idiot."
I frown at him. "What?"
"She hesitated, and you took it as a no? What if she needed a minute to figure out how she felt about it?"
I groan. "That has crossed my mind afterward.”
"So what are you doing about it?" He correctly interprets my lack of an answer. "Felix, you know better. Shit ain't gonna fix itself."
“Yeah, yeah, I know."
"So when you say you don't know what to do,” he says, “what you really mean is youdoknow, you just don't wanna do it."
"I've got hangups, okay?"
"I spent a decade in prison for something I didn't do. I'm a huge, scary ex-con with more than a little literal blood on my hands. I know a thing or two about hangups." He eases off the tailgate. "In my experience, limited as it is, the idea is usually scarier than the reality."
"I'm not fuckin' afraid," I snap.
Bear just laughs. "Okay, buddy. Pull the other one—it's got bells on it."
"What?"
He laughs again. "Somethin' Noelle's dad says when her brothers spout some bullshit, which is all the time."
I groan a laugh. "Fine, I'm scared outta my fucking mind. I want her, man. Bad."
"Why?"
I frown. "Why? Why what?"
"Why do you want her? What is it you want? And if it's about what she's got going on between her shoulders and her knees and nothin' else, don’t waste your time or hers.”
"When did you become the voice of wisdom, Bear?" I say, shaking my head in bemusement.
"Noelle is gorgeous, that ain't a secret. Her body makes me crazy. And I love that about her. But that’s not what our relationship is about. I'm saying you gotta figure out if you’re just hot for her, or if it's somethin' more than that." He holds his arms out and lets them slap against his thighs. “That's about all the wisdom I've got, Boss. But please, for the sake of the guys, do something about it."
I nod. "I hear you, Bear. I will."
"A'ight. Noelle and I have plans, so I gotta get home and grab a shower."
"Well then, what are you still here for, you big lunk? Go!"
I watch him climb into his pickup and drive off. A few minutes later, the yard is quiet and still, and the dust from the gravel is swirling and settling under the hot sun.
