Page 61 of Old Fashioned
We laughed, closing our eyes and bowing our heads again.
“I want to thank you for Betty Collins, and for bringing her into our family when we needed her most.”
“You’re welcome,” she chimed in, and we all chuckled again.
“And for our new guests, Sydney and Paige, who fit in like they’ve always been here, and already bring us joy, and make our oldest brother smile — which is honestly really weird and kind of unsettling, but we’ll get used to it.”
“Itoldyou to stop being so grumpy all the time,” Paige said to the tune of another flurry of laughter, but my throat was so tight I could no longer swallow, and I blinked my eyes open, looking at the place where my fingers intertwined with Sydney’s.
“And Lord, I want to thank you for my incredible fiancée, who will be my wife in less than forty-eight hours from now. I have waited my entire life to find a woman like her, and you delivered her just like I always knew you would. Thank you for making me a patient man, for helping me see why it never worked out with anyone before, and comforting me in those dark times to know that the light was on its way. It wasn’t easy,” he said, and there was a murmur of agreement, but my eyes were floating up to Sydney’s.
And hers were open, too — staring back at me.
“But it was so, so worth it. If there’s anything this family has taught me, it’s that love is the most important thing, and it’s worth fighting for — no matter the risk.”
Sydney’s eyes were wide and glossed, a little pinch between her brows as she watched me and I watched her, nothing being said, but everything spoken just the same.
“Thank you for our blessings, Lord. And thank you for this meal. Amen.”
“Amen,” we all echoed, and while my mom instantly went into how great Noah’s grace was and then began peppering Mallory with baby questions now that we knew the gender, Sydney and I continued watching each other, and I wondered if she felt what I felt in that moment, too.
I couldn’t wait any longer.
I needed more from her. I needed her to claim me, to assure me that I wasn’t crazy or alone in what I was feeling, to make what we had between usreal.
And I would ask for it.
Tonight.
Sydney
After dinner, everyone helped clear the table, and then we all separated into little groups without really noticing it.
Jordan and his brothers were watching football in the living room with Paige, who I imagined was in hog heaven with so many people around who loved the game like she did. Before he retreated there, Jordan had pulled me to the side, asking if we could talk after I put Paige to bed tonight. My stomach was in knots wondering what it was about, but he assured me it was nothing bad, so I tried to trust him in that.
Jordan’s mom, Laurelei, along with Betty and Ruby Grace were gathered at the dining room table, now filled with the contents of Ruby Grace’s wedding planning binder. They were drinking wine and laughing as they went through last-minute preparations.
Mikey and Kylie were in the backyard, sitting together at a little bonfire they’d made while Mikey played the guitar.
Mallory and I were in the kitchen cleaning up, and we cracked the window so we could hear what Michael was playing. He was actually quite good, and I wondered to myself if he would ever consider making a career from music.
He and Kylie were so young, just nineteen years old, and I smiled from time to time thinking about how everything felt so possible at that age, and yet it also felt like nothing had to be figured out at all — not yet.
When I was nineteen, I was in college, with my eyes set on the future. I envisioned working with athletic teams across the country, learning more about the human body every day, and more importantly — how to keep athletes healthy and on the field or court where they wanted to be.
My stomach sank, as it often did when I thought about what could have been. Then I shrank from guilt, knowing that if it had turned out that way, I wouldn’t have Paige.
I blinked the thoughts away as Mallory handed me a freshly cleaned casserole dish covered in warm soapy suds. I ran it under the cool water from the faucet, rinsing it completely before I set it to dry on a towel we’d laid out on the counter.
“I can handle this, Mallory,” I offered for the second time since we’d started cleaning up the kitchen. “If you want to go help the other ladies with the wedding plans.”
She scoffed, cocking an eyebrow at me before she got to work on the next casserole dish. “I know you don’t know me very well, but trust me when I say wedding planning is nowhere on my list of things I’d like to do in my spare time.”
I chuckled. “Not your cup of tea?”
“Let’s just say the only time I like to get serious about what colors to pick for something is when it comes to dying my hair. At least, itwas, until this little gal decided to start blooming and I started thinking about what color to paint her room.”
She patted her stomach with a soapy hand, smiling at me before she was back to work on the dish. I took her in then, noting the fading pink and orange at the tips of her dirty blonde hair, the septum piercing in her nose, the fierce and beautiful makeup she wore on her white skin, the sliver of tattoos peeking out from where she’d shoved the sleeves of her sweater up to her elbows along with the lotus flower right behind her ear. She was unlike any girl I’d seen around this town, and I kind of loved it.
