Page 34 of Old Fashioned
I nodded in understanding.
“So, yeah. It opened a new door. And I’ve walked through that door frequently ever since that day, looking for answers that I know will never come.”
My heart ached with the desire to hug him.
It hit me so fiercely and unexpectedly that I nearly followed it. I uncrossed my legs and made to stand before I realized what I was doing and stopped myself, taking a deep breath, instead. There were no words to say in that moment — none that would be anything other than hot air to fill the space. So, I didn’t say a word. I just sat there with him and let him know he wasn’t alone.
“It’s strange, because I had a similar awakening when we camped when I was a teenager, too. Only that time, I had been hanging out with a brother and sister who were black. But, they treated me differently, like I didn’t actually belong with them.” His eyes found mine. “It’s like you were saying with Paige, and I’m sure you’ve been there, too. It’s like I’m stuck in this strange in-between of not being black enough, but not being white enough, either.”
I nodded, a grim understanding. “I know that feeling well.”
“I couldn’t have asked for a better family, though,” he said after a moment with a small smile. “I’m proud to be a Becker.”
I laughed softly. “You boys are as thick as thieves. Always have been. I think I’d heard of every single one of you before I even started my first day of school here.”
“Hey, to be fair, I’m usually the onewranglingthose trouble-makers — especially Noah. Lord knows Ruby Grace couldn’t have come a moment sooner to settle that hothead down.”
The mood lightened with the mention of his brothers, and we chatted about each of them. A big part of me was curious about the fire that had taken his father’s life, but after having one already-heavy conversation, I skirted around my curiosity and stayed firmly in the friendly territory.
“Speaking of siblings, how’s Gabby doing?” Jordan asked after a while.
I smiled at the mention of my sister, who I knew would likely lose her mind if she knew Jordan was in my kitchen at this hour of the night. “She’s really good, loving the nursing life — though I’ll never understand it. She works all night, long hours, dealing with people who usually treat her like she’s a problem rather than a help.” I shook my head. “Makes me appreciate people who work in healthcare more.”
“Where’s she at now?”
“She and my parents are all in Austin,” I said, frowning as my finger traced the top of my glass. “Mom got a civilian job there working as an analyst, and I guess since we were all moving around together growing up, Sis just wanted to go with them.”
“You didn’t?”
I shrugged in lieu of an answer, my heart screamingI did.
Jordan was quiet for a while before he asked, “Was it hard, moving around like that when you were younger?”
I tilted my head, considering. “Yes, and no,” I said honestly. “It was hard not staying in one place long enough to have real friends, but… my sister and I were so close, you know? And it always felt like an adventure, moving from place to place, always having something new to discover.”
“I can’t even imagine,” Jordan said. “I’ve been in this town my whole life.”
“There are worse places to be.”
Jordan leaned back on a nod, watching me with a tired smile.
Conversation flowed easily between us after that, and so did the whiskey. As we talked, we went through two more old fashioneds, and the more we sipped, the easier it was to open up. I told him more about my upbringing, about the trouble I would get into with Gabby, a little about my parents. He knew about my mom’s military job, but had no idea that my father built and sold custom furniture made of solid wood wherever we were stationed. So, we talked for nearly an hour about the places I had lived and traveled to growing up, about Mom’s deployments and various job duties, and I even showed him pictures of my father’s favorite projects.
I’d just finished sharing a story about me and my sister getting in trouble for swimming in an old quarry in Alabama when I glanced at the clock and realized it was almost midnight.
I sighed, opening my mouth to tell Jordan it was probably time we both get some sleep, but then the song changed, and he closed his eyes and smiled, letting out an appreciative noise through his nose.
“Wow,” he said, shaking his head before he opened his eyes. They found mine instantly, and he stood, reaching one hand down to where I sat.
I stared at his hand, quirking a brow before I glanced back up at him like I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. But he curled his fingers with a smile, nodding behind him to the living room like it was a dance floor.
“What?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“Dance with me.”
I laughed.
“Seriously,” he said before I could call him crazy. “There’s a great story that goes along with this song, and I want to tell it to you.”
