Page 78 of False Start
“For now.”
I held her gaze even when it widened, even when her eyes darted between mine like she was trying to analyze what I meant by that.
“Did it feel good?” I asked, and I chuckled a bit when her neck flashed a deep red. “Writing, I mean.”
“Oh,” she said, her eyes falling to her hands on my chest again. “Yes, actually. It felt… like coming home.”
I smiled at that. “I love your writing.”
“You only loved it because half the time I was writing about your stupid ass,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
“Fair. I wonder if anything’s changed. Maybe I should go take a peek…”
“Absolutely not,” she said, and she pulled at my shoulders like she could stop me from getting up if I wanted to. But I let her, savoring the way it felt with her thighs straddling my waist.
I swept her messy hair behind one ear on a smile, and she lifted her gaze to meet mine.
A million unspoken words hung between us.
I didn’t know where to start. I wanted to ask if she was okay after last night, if she was upset it had happened.
But I knew just from her sitting in my lap that that wasn’t the case.
Which left me wondering what this meant for us now. It was clear we weren’t just pretending anymore.
But it was also clear she was guarded.
I wondered if she was feeling guilty for what happened when we were younger. I wondered why I didn’t feel the same anger and pain when I looked at her now. I wondered where that grudge had gone that I’d held onto for so long.
Because suddenly, I didn’t give a fuck what happened when we were kids.
I just wanted a clean slate.
I wanted to start over, right here, right now.
When I opened my mouth to tell her that, I paused, frowning, thinking about the plane ride here and what she’d said.
Why did you leave?
The question had perplexed me when she’d asked it. She knew why. She knew what happened with my father. Hadn’t thatbeen why she’d come to our house the next day and told them she wanted me to stay away from her?
My phone ringing jolted me from the thought, Madelyn flinching a bit in my lap when the loud vibration sounded through the room. I kept one hand on her as I reached for my phone on the nightstand with the other. The nickname CAP covered the screen, and I tapped the green phone icon to answer.
“Holden,” I greeted, eyes flicking to Madelyn. “To what do I owe the pleasure of a phone call from you at the ass-crack of dawn?”
“It’s almost ten in the morning.”
I blinked, pulling my phone back and blanching when I saw the time on the screen and realized he was right.
I hadn’t slept this late since college.
When I didn’t say anything, Holden chuckled on the other end. “Get your lazy ass in the shower and get dressed. We’ve been summoned.”
“Summoned?”
“Boys brunch and round of golf before the wedding tonight, remember? We’re meeting in the lobby in half an hour.”
My eyes slid to Madelyn, but she showed no sign of emotion one way or the other.
