Page 106 of False Start
For once, I had shocked my father silent.
I heard the distant sound of my mom crying in the background, which told me she could hear everything. Maybe I was on speaker phone. Or maybe she knew just by the look on Dad’s face.
“How,” I repeated, and my voice cracked before I cleared my throat and forced a breath. “Only a monster could do such a thing.”
“Wrong,” he said, and to his credit, he sounded so sure of himself, like he really didn’t have anything to be sorry about. “Only afatherwho cared about his son’s future could have done such a thing.”
“My future,” I snorted.
“Yes, your future. Are you that daft that you don’t understand what would have happened if Iwouldhave told you?”
“I would have stayed with Madelyn,” I said immediately. “I would have been there with her every step of the way to raise mychild.”
“Exactly!” He roared, and even miles away, the sound made me flinch. “You would have thrown it all away! School, football… do you think you would have had a chance at going to college if you had a toddler to care for? Do you think you would have even been able to play ball through the rest of high school?”
My nostrils flared.
He was right — but I didn’t want to say it.
“So what,” I volleyed. “So I wouldn’t have had football. I would have been okay. I would have figured it out.”
“And you would have struggled.Bothof you.”
“So, you were content to just let her struggle on her own?”
“Oh, don’t be dramatic. I know she lost the baby, Kyle.”
That shocked me as much as a punch to the nose would have.
I blinked, opening my mouth and then shutting it again before I let out a harsh laugh.
“Wow. So, you kept tabs on her?”
“Of course, I did. I’m your father. And whether you think so or not, I had your best interests at heart.”
“You were a selfish, horrible father then, and you are still.”
Dad barked out his own laugh. “Ungrateful brat. You always have been.”
“And Mom?” I said, knowing now that she could hear me. “You… you played along. You loved Madelyn. How could you do that to her, to us?”
Mom wailed harder, and I heard Dad shuffle to stand.
“Don’t you dare talk to your mother like that.”
“Or what? You going to hit me? Because I hate to break it to you, Dad, but I’m big enough to fight back now.”
The garbling noise he made told me he was getting angry, that his face was turning red.
“You want to think you know what’s best for you? For you atsixteen? Well, when you’re a father, you can talk to me again.”
“I was a father!” I cried, shaking, my neck heated. “Iwasa father, and you stole that from me.”
The silence that dragged on between us was heavy and thick, and for a moment, I thought he might actuallyfeelsomething.
I thought he might actually apologize.
Instead, he sniffed, and leveled his voice when he finally replied.
