Page 90 of False Start
“I’ll see you all in the morning,” Kyle promised, and then he hooked his arm around my waist. “I need to get my girl back to our room.”
My girl.
Our room.
My head spun with it all as much as my heart squeezed with what I was about to have to tell him.
And I only had a short car ride to figure out how.
Kyle
My stomach was tied into the tightest knot by the time we made it back to the hotel.
I held Madelyn’s hand the entire drive. She didn’t say a word, but she also didn’t pull away. She just sat beside me, her eyes trained out the window, silent tears streaming down her cheeks before she’d thumb them away.
I didn’t know what to think. My brainwantedto race, but I couldn’t even begin to guess what was going on. I had to wait for her to tell me, for her to let me in.
All I could surmise was that it had something to do with that night.
It had something to do with why she told me to stay away from her.
I wanted to know. Ineededto know. And yet, at the same time, I was sick even thinking about it. Going back to that time in my life was like sticking my hand in a hot fire. I didn’t want to relive the pain — but I knew the only way for us to move forward was for us to face our past.
Blessedly, the media had gone by the time we pulled up to the hotel doors. Still, I shielded Madelyn with my suit jacket just in case there was someone sneaking around trying to get a photo. I rushed her to the elevator, holding her hand all the way until we slid inside our room and the door shut behind us.
Immediately, we were engulfed with the heaviest silence I’d ever felt.
I laid my jacket over the back of the desk chair, my eyes on Madelyn as she sat on the edge of the bed like she was in a daze. Her eyes were wide and unfocused, her fingers curling into the comforter as if it was all that held her to this Earth.
I didn’t rush her. Instead, I left her alone for a moment — just long enough to get ice from down the hall. I poured us both two tall glasses of ice water when I returned, and Madelyn took a long drink of hers before setting it aside.
“Tell me what happened that night,” she finally said, her voice low and cracking. “And the next morning.”
I swallowed. “You know what happened.”
She shut her eyes tightly and shook her head just once, fast and hard. “I need to hear it. I need you to tell me everything. Don’t leave out a single detail.”
My heart protested in my ribcage, lungs squeezing painfully. My entire body was ready to revolt at the thought of having to go back to that dark time in my life.
But I’d do anything Madelyn asked me to — even if it meant bleeding out right here at her feet.
I sat down beside her on the bed, giving her enough space to make her feel comfortable while also being close enough to give myself the courage to speak. I folded my hands between my legs, staring at them as I spoke.
“I was upset with you,” I admitted. “Something was wrong that week. I knew it, and you wouldn’t talk to me. I think I knew you were going to break up with me, and I…” I cleared my throat.“I felt so out of control. All I wanted was for you to be there with me that night at my parents’ party. I wanted you to let me in. I wanted a chance to fix whatever I’d done wrong.”
Madelyn didn’t blink, but two tears slid down her cheeks and hit her dress.
“In hindsight, I’m glad you weren’t there,” I said on a sigh. “Because you would have had to witness what my father did — to your mother, to your father…” I swallowed. “To me.”
She did close her eyes then, and I watched the way her chest rose and fell in a slow, steadying breath.
“The next morning, when all the dust was settling, I didn’t realize how bad it really was. Not until you showed up.”
My throat was thick with emotion that I could barely contain.
“I saw you from my window. And,fuck, Mads,” I said, shaking my head and looking right at her. “I can’t explain what I felt when I did. I was relieved, happy, hopeful, and yet shaking like a fucking leaf, too, because I didn’t know if you’d ever be able to love me again after what had happened. The way my father had treated your mother, the things he’d said, and then…”
Madelyn looked like a zombie beside me, like she was listening but was incapable of any reaction.
