Page 110 of Save Your Breath
“It’s hard to admit that I wish I could be better than I am.”
Crack.
I heard it as much as I felt it, that little hairline fracture in my heart. This man, my best friend… he would never see himself the way I saw him. He’d never understand how much good lived within him, how much hedidhave to offer.
“I don’t mean to sound trite, but… have you thought about talking to someone?”
The words sounded as awkward as they felt coming out of my mouth, but to his credit, Aleks didn’t laugh or scoff or brush me off like he had the right to.
“Therapy?”
I nodded.
He was quiet a long while, his fingers getting closer and closer to the end of the braid even with how slowly he was moving.
“Maybe I should,” he admitted softly.
When he finished off the braid, I pulled off the hair tie I always had on my wrist and handed it to him. He took his time wrapping it around the ends of my hair, his hands hovering even after it was fastened like he wasn’t sure what to do next.
The air around us grew heavier, thick with the electricity of the storm perhaps, or maybe it was something else.
Something that had always been there.
Something I would always wonder if he felt, too.
“I wish you’d talk to me.”
I closed my eyes at his words, letting them rumble over me just like the wind shaking the building we were in.
But I couldn’t grant his request.
Not when I had no idea what to say.
“I’m going to bed,” I whispered.
And I did so without another word or glance in his direction.
Chasing Dreams
Aleks
I woke to the sound of music.
I wasn’t sure I’d actually slept at all.
It’d taken me a while to leave the living room and retreat to my bedroom, a big part of me hoping that Mia would change her mind and come back to join me. When she didn’t, I’d spent at least the better part of an hour just staring up at the ceiling in my room, my entire body tuned in to the fact that she was just a few doors down the hall.
It was like when we were teenagers, except now, I didn’t feel welcome to join her. I didn’t feel like I could just knock on her door and hop up into bed with her, tease her about whatever song she was writing or ask if she wanted to go walk down by the lake.
She was in my condo, and yet she was a thousand miles away.
I blinked in the darkness of my room, reaching for my phone to check the time as the soft sound of piano music spilled in from down the hall. It was just past three in the morning.
We must have lost power because my phone wasn’t charging even though it was plugged in and my room felt darker than usual. I used the light from my phone screen to guide the way to my door, bare feet padding over the wood floors as I followed the sound of the keys.
I needed the light less and less as I got closer to the living room. Even with the storm raging outside, there was still enough glow from those who still had power in the city filtering in through the windows. When I could see without it, I tucked my phone away, slowing my steps.
I halted altogether when I saw her.
