Page 127 of Save Your Breath
“Time?” I asked.
“For the big finale. The final scene.” She clapped and shimmied. “Time to break your heart and start that healing vindication tour of feminine power and enlightenment.”
My stomach bottomed out at her words, heart stalling in my chest before it kicked back to life hard enough to crack a rib.
She was calling the breakup.
Dread curdled inside me, and I wasn’t sure if I was buzzing or completely numb as time stretched and slogged to a complete halt.
I felt like a tightrope walker who’d just glanced down for the first time, like I’d completely forgotten just how far I had to fall and how badly the crash would sting until that very moment.
Simply put, I just hadn’t expected this. Isabella called a meeting with us so casually that I thought it would just be to discuss our next publicity stunt. In fact, I’d been buzzing with anticipation. I’d hoped his schedule would allow Aleks to fly out to my next show. I’d hoped I’d have a gap in my tour to go see him in Tampa, to actually stay a night with him and talk about what happened during the hurricane.
I missed him.
God, I missed him so badly my chest ached just at the vision of him on that tiny laptop screen.
I wanted to reach through it, wanted him to pull me into that frame and into his arms. I wanted to remember what it felt like to have him wrap me up, to have his scent surrounding me, to feel his warmth and hear his content chuckle as he kissed my hair, blocking out everything else in the world. I’d slept in the shirt he gave me more nights than not, but it just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t enough.
I needed to see him.
But I didn’t want to see him forthis.
“Talk me through your thoughts,” Giana said, her all-business tone snapping me back to the cruel reality I was trying to escape.
“Well, we’re about to release tickets for the second half of the tour, and then a few weeks after that, we’re announcing the European leg.” Isabella scrolled on her phone, looking over her notes that were blurry to me no matter how I tried to focus. “It just makes sense. They’re projecting we will sell out, but I want to guarantee it. I want these fans rabid. I want them dying for a front-row seat to the Mia Love Renaissance.”
Giana nodded, saying something, but I couldn’t hear her over the thrumming in my ears. My eyes snapped to Aleks, whom I swore was watching only me.
I waited for him to say something.
He seemed to be waiting for the same.
“You don’t think it’s too soon?” I asked, my voice cracking.
The silence that followed my question was deafening.
Isabella glanced at the screen, at Giana and Aleks, and then back at me. “I mean… do you want to keep it going longer while you’re on tour and he’s in season?”
Everyone looked at me then, their eyes burning holes through my already fragile shield.
I scratched my neck, one shoulder inching up noncommittally.
A glance at Aleks found him quiet and watching me like the rest of them.
I couldn’t read his expression. Usually, I was so good at that, at seeing through his fake smiles or sarcastic remarks. But he was stoic.
If anything, he looked… worried.
Worried I wanted to keep this thing going? Worried he’d have to make more flights during his busy season when he needed to be focusing on getting wins?
Worried he’d have to keep pretending with me, keep up his dry spell, keep passing on opportunities with other women?
My brain beat me up with every possibility the longer the silence stretched.
“No, of course not,” I finally said, hoping my smile and the shake of my head sold the words.
I didn’t want to admit that Austin was in my head, and since everything was about to be over anyway, I decided I didn’t need to.
