Page 79 of Save Your Breath
“Because that’s not the story meant to play out for everyone, Mia.”
“Why couldn’t it be the one for you?”
I smirked, a breath of a laugh leaving my nose as I swept her damp hair back and off her face. “What do I have to offer a woman as a lifetime partner? What do I have to offer a child as a father?” I shook my head. “I have a disease in me, Mia. One I was born with that will never leave me. Addict blood runs through me.”
“Aleks…”
“It’s true. You’ve seen me when I drink, when I give in to other ways of numbing myself. I know you still remember the Fourth of July.”
I pinned her with my gaze then, daring her to tell me I was wrong.
She didn’t.
“I have to actively fight not to let it ruin my life the way it did my parents’,” I continued, voice hoarse. “And honestly, some days, I wonder if that fight is even worth it. I don’t have a big, beautiful family to share with someone. I don’t have a lifetime of wonderful childhood memories. I’m not some well-adjusted gentleman with friends and a financial plan. I’m just…”I shrugged. “I’m just a hockey player. And some days, I’m barely that.”
Mia’s eyes flicked between mine, and I wasn’t sure if she realized she had twisted her hand up even more in my shirt, that she’d pulled me closer to her.
“You’re more than what has happened to you,” she whispered.
But did she really believe that?
The way she joked with me, the things she said about how I acted… I wasn’t so sure.
And right now, she was three sheets to the wind, as her mother would say — drunk and in a state where she could say anything, if the tequila willed her to.
Last time she had been this drunk with me, she’d asked me to kiss her.
And then the next day, she’d told me it was a mistake.
I cleared my throat, folding my hand over hers just long enough to peel her fingers off me. I stood, gently helping her up, too.
“Come on,” I said. “Let’s get you to your place. We have a big day tomorrow.”
I tried to smile with that, giving her a little wink that said I was fine and the conversation was a buried one. I didn’t miss her frown even as it disappeared under her mask. I pulled mine down, too, grabbing her hand and calling a cab as we walked toward the parking lot. James and Hunter followed from a distance behind us, but I knew they were there making sure Mia was okay.
I was thankful for them, even if I felt Mia was safe with me. I liked that she had good guys on her team to protect her.
Mia was staying in a secluded mansion on Davis Island, one not too far from where Will Perry lived with Chloe and Ava.
When we pulled up the drive and the cab driver put the car in park, I wondered what it could be like to live this life with her. What if we were coming home from a night out and instead of me walking her to her door, I was walking insidewithher? What would it feel like to help her undress, to sink into a hot bath together, to hold her and touch her and make her mine in every way?
I could see it, for that split second — the family she asked me about.
But as soon as it manifested, it was gone, erased in a cloud of reality.
One of her security guards was at the door when I walked her up to it. James. He nodded in greeting, but otherwise pretended like we didn’t exist, his eyes on the perimeter of the house.
“Thank you,” Mia said softly. “For tonight. I… I can’t tell you how much fun I had, how much I needed that.”
“Always here for a good time.” I leaned in, brushing a quick kiss across her cheek. “See you tomorrow, almost fiancée.”
Then, I backed away with a cocky wink I hoped was more convincing than the unsteady beat of my heart.
We Have Tonight
Mia
“I’m drunk.”
