Page 121 of Stand Your Ground
I shook my head, not ready to go there yet.
“And then my doctor told me we couldn’t move forward.” My lips trembled. “Because I’m already pregnant.”
Tears blurred my vision once more, spilling hot and fast down my cheeks. My heart hammered so loud I was sure all of Tampa Bay could hear it. I hadn’t felt so raw and exposed since the night my innocence was stolen, but this cut deeper somehow.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, words tripping over each other, tumbling into a mess. “I know this isn’t what you want, Carter. I know it’s not fair to you. And I need you to understand that youdon’t have to do anything. You don’t owe me a damn thing. I can do this. Iwilldo this.”
I swallowed hard, choking on the lie that tasted like blood.
“But I don’t need you.”
Please stay.
Please, please don’t leave me.
“I can handle it on my own.”
I can’t handle it on my own.
I don’t want to do this on my own.
“And you don’t—you don’t have to—you don’t—”
I was in his arms before I could croak out anything else, and the moment he pulled me into him, I succumbed to another round of sobs. I clung to him, literally and metaphorically, and willed every lie I’d just said to be true. I tried to reassure my breaking heart that we would be okay, that we’d survive this no matter what Carter decided, but it was a weak and futile argument.
“Shhh,” he said against my hair, kissing my forehead and letting his lips linger there as he held me tight. “Oh, baby, please,please. You’re breaking my fucking heart right now.”
“I’ve ruined it all.”
I sobbed the words, and then was promptly startled when Carter laughed at them. He shook his head, pulling back to frame my face with his hands, his brows folded together. “What do you mean you’ve ruined everything? Livia, this isn’t your fault.”
“I… I made you do all that testing and made you feel safe, but I’ve been so stressed, and I haven’t been consistent taking my pill, and IknewI should have just had a freaking IUD put in!”
Carter laughed again, kissing my lips before I could register what was happening.
“Oh, you silly, maddening woman. It is not your fault. These things happen. And, uh, in case you have forgotten, I was more than a willing participant in our unprotected sex.”
“I’m so sorry, Carter.”
“Forwhat?!” He grabbed my face again. “Livvy, I feel like I just won the fucking Cup.”
“You…” I balked. “You what?”
“I’m thrilled. I’m over the moon. I’m so far over the moon I’ve hit another galaxy completely.”
“But you told me you didn’t want kids.”
“Yeah, because at that moment in time, you were asking Carter, the no-game having bachelor hockey player. But that guy died. I buried him the night I told you I loved you and heard you say you feel the same.”
“Carter, don’t fuck with me right now.”
“I’m as serious as a positive pregnancy test, Mistress.”
I laughed, despite feeling like it was impossible, swatting at his chest. “Stop.”
“No. I won’t. I refuse to stop. I’m going to make you laugh when you feel like crying for the rest of your fucking life. And I call bullshit on everything you just said. You don’t get to do this on your own. You don’t get to tell me it’s okay if I just pass on being a fucking father?” He shook his head and hearing it from his mouth made me realize how ridiculous it was. “No. Fuck that. I am going to be right here,” he said, pointing to the earth between us. “Right by your side through every symptom, every doctor’s appointment, and every fucking push. I’m going to be the best father I can be, and the best partner, and I will annoy the hell out of you with how much I make this whole thing my personality.”
I choked on another cross between a sob and a laugh.
