Page 121 of Realm of Wind and Vines
They deserve this.
They deserve everything they’re getting.
Bile surges up inside my throat.
Slapping a hand in front of my mouth to stop the vomit, I stare back at the Osteria family with wide eyes. Bane andJessina’s cruel voices continue echoing inside my mind, saying all the exact same things that I have been thinking for weeks now.
Cold horror washes through me.
I am turning into them.
Oh Goddess above, I am turning into the Icehearts.
“I need air,” I gasp out to Alistair.
Without even waiting for an answer, I rush past him and towards the back door. Throwing it open, I burst out into the neat garden full of trimmed bushes and artfully placed flowers. I only make it three steps before my knees buckle.
Crashing down on the grass, I bend over the flower bed in front of me and puke. My stomach heaves as I vomit into the colorful flowers over and over again. Digging my fingers into the soft grass, I grip it hard as I empty the entire contents of my stomach into that flower bed.
Once there is nothing left to throw up, I gasp air back into my lungs. Gripping the grass tighter, I try to keep myself from swaying as the entire world around me seems to tilt.
That cold panic remains inside me like ice, freezing my blood and keeping me trapped there on the grass, while horrifying similarities dawn before my eyes.
Similarities between me and Jessina Iceheart.
When she was young, she had no power because she was enslaved by that group of fae. So when she got free, she relished the feeling of having power over others. Relished the feeling of being the one in control. The one who gives the orders. The one who gets to watch everyone else bow and beg at her feet.
I’ve done the same. Ever since I escaped the Ice Palace, I have breathed in the intoxicating power I’ve felt when I have been in control. I’ve loved every single second of those moments when I’ve had the power. When I’ve made people kneel and obey my orders.
And Jessina killed my parents in retaliation for me hurting Bane, her fated mate.
I vowed to do the same. After she hurt Draven and murdered my parents, I vowed to kill everyone she has ever cared about.
She was humiliated and violated by that small group of fae six thousand years ago, so she spent the rest of her life getting revenge onallfae. She punished innocents simply because they belonged to the same nation as the ones who hurt her.
I did the same. She killed my parents, so I vowed to wipe out the entire Silver Clan. I almost killed this family today for that exact reason. Even though they are completely innocent of the crime. They are civilians. They don’t even know who I am. Let alone that Jessina has killed my parents.
My stomach heaves, and I vomit again. But nothing comes out. Only bile that burns like acid in my throat.
Oh Goddess.
I am more similar to Jessina Iceheart than I want to admit.
Dragging in an unsteady breath, I try to slow my pounding heart. My entire head is spinning. With great effort, I release my death grip on the grass and push myself away from the now ruined flower bed. Sitting back on my ass, I draw my knees up and rest my elbows on them while I rake my fingers through my hair. And then I just breathe.
Fuck. What am I doing?
If I start taking my fury out on innocent civilians, I’m no better than the Icehearts.
There has to be a line.
Goddess above, there has to be a line. Thereisa line. And this is it.Thisis the line that I won’t cross.
Orion was right. Only a villain can take down another villain.
And Iwillbe a villain to my enemies. I will be utterly merciless and completely ruthless to anyone who stands in my way.
I will get my fucking revenge. All of it. But on therightpeople. Not on innocent civilians. I will not take revenge on people for a crime they haven’t committed.
