Page 85 of Realm of Wind and Vines
And now, they’re gone.
They’re dead. They died within seconds. Without warning. And now, I will never know.
I will never know if my parents actually hated me or not. I will never know if they truly resented me because of who I am and what I did, or if they actually loved me and only hated me because I had accidentally forced a flame of hatred into their chests when I was a child and couldn’t control my powers.
I wanted to know. Knowing the truth was vital to me. It could have changed everything. It would havemeanteverything to me.
But now, I will never know.
I will never know if my parents loved me.
Agony and paralyzing regret crack through my chest like a whip.
Curling my fingers into a fist, I gasp out broken sobs while waves of darkness crash over me.
I should have gone there straight away. I should have checked on my parents straight away. But I was just so busy. I kept saying that I would do it later. Later when things weren’t so chaotic. Later when I had more time. Later when I wasn’t dealing with a crisis.
But that’s the thing. There will never be enough time. There will always be another crisis. There will never be a perfect time to do something.
I should have prioritized them.
And now, it’s too late.
Now, there is nothing left.
No oneleft.
My parents are gone. My mate is gone.
All that is left is guilt and hate and rage and regret.
Suffocating, all-consuming regret.
Those massive black waves inside me crash through my soul like a storm-plagued ocean. Crushing everything. Tearing everything down. Beating that small spark of hope inside me with merciless force.
Broken sobs slip from my lips.
That tiny light inside my soul flickers.
And then it goes out.
Dark rage and searing hatred rush in to fill the void, burying me whole.
I feel like I’m drowning. I can’t breathe. I can’t feel anything but agony and regret.
It’s going to kill me. These emotions are going to kill me.
In a burst of sheer panic, I draw upon that dark rage and searing hatred. Drawing it to me like a raft. Clinging to it.Infusing the black waves themselves with it. Until everything inside me is just a burning black ocean of rage and hatred.
If I thought I was angry and ruthless when I left the Unseelie Court, it is nothing compared to the utter mercilessness that now consumes me.
Shoving myself up from the floor, I dust myself off and roll my shoulders back.
My head is now terrifyingly silent and clear.
I stalk towards the door and throw it open.
A guard in Orion’s dark blue and silver colors jumps in surprise.
