Page 22 of The NemeSis
I let it be known early in the relationship that I was the type to take things slow, slower than he would be used to. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. Did he think I was just going to give it up because it was my birthday?
Two months into the relationship, I confessed I was still a virgin. He seemed fine with it, pleased even. The admission should’ve made it easier for him to understand why I like to take things slow.
Until Ryan, I never had a serious boyfriend. My longest relationship was a few weeks in high school. Outside of that, it was all first dates that never made it to a second. I thought college would be different. I assumed I would be going from boys to men, but I was wrong.
Ryan is three years older than me, I thought he was mature. Mostly because he’s older than me. I’ve been around boys my age, they definitely—aren’t. The idea of someone older than me, it seemed like a good idea.
I shake my head. I can’t believe I honestly thought someone a few years older would be better. If only it were that easy. At this rate, I’ll probably remain a virgin my whole life.
If I die a virgin, I’m going to be pissed.
I should’ve let it happen when I was younger. Then, it wouldn’t feel like an even bigger deal now. In prep school, Beth and I had agreed that we should get that stuff over with. She did. I didn’t. Once we started college, she told me I might as well wait until the right person came along. I was starting to doubt it. Mr. Perfect would never come along.
My phone buzzes next to me on the table, I grab it expecting Ares to have sent another message.
Ryan: Can we talk.
Ryan: Please.
“Please,”his voice comes behind me softly.
I keep my face straight, close my computer, and cross my arms. “Have a seat.”
“Can we go somewhere more private?”
“Let’s keep things pleasant. I’m not in the mood to be yelled at again,” I speak softly.
“I’m sorry.” He walks around the table and sits down across from me. “I’d been drinking, but that’s no excuse. Let me fix things, please.”
I search his eyes and feel nothing. No hate or anger. But no butterflies either. Ryan doesn’t make my heart skip a beat. The comfort I once felt for him, that’s not even there anymore.
Looking at Ryan, I realize we weren’t meant to last. Our interests were similar, thanks to history and Greek life. But outside of that, nothing. I understand that some relationships are temporary, serving only to teach us a lesson. This was one for me.
“I think you were coming from a place of honesty.” I sit up in the old wooden chair a little straighter. “I think our relationship stopped flowing a while ago. It turned into more of a friendship. That’s why I wasn’t ready.”
He looks defeated. It makes me feel a little bad for the guy, but I can’t help how I feel either. “I’d like to be your friend, Kyra. I do enjoy spending time with you. I’m sorry for being such an asshole that night. You didn’t deserve it.”
“I appreciate the apology. As far as being friends, I think I may need some time. You might too. School comes first after all, and we both have important papers and projects we’re working on.” I offer a reassuring smile.
Ryan grins. “You’re right. Hey, if we have time, maybe we can look at each other’s papers to help one another. I mean, if times allows.”
I nod but don’t respond.
He slowly stands. “I’ll let you get back to your research. I’m really sorry, Kyra.”
My phone buzzes again, but I wait until he’s walking away to check it.
Beth: I’m back at the house. Where are you?
Me: I’m at the library doing research for my ancient history class.
Beth: I need to stretch my body, you up for a barre class this evening before the house meeting?
Me: Yes!
Me: I’m almost finished here.
I’m not,but I know what books I want to actually checkout now. I gather the books I don’t want and move them to the cart to be put back. Then bag up my belongings and pile up the books I do want to check out.
