Page 13 of The Werewolf Who Gave A Shift
No one had ever asked him that.Not even Zelda.He stared at Macy for a long time before answering.She sat silent, waiting for his answer.“My beast has never felt like a companion.It has felt like an intruder, an uninvited presence inside me playing with the edges of my control.I’ve never seen myself as a man with two halves like most Shifters, but a fractured being with a dark side.”
“We all have a dark side, Kaelen,” Macy interjected when he paused.“Have you never met another Werewolf?”
“Yes, of course, but most have been killed,” Kaelen said with a frown.“Generations of whispered stories only cement my belief that I am cursed, as are those like me.”
“Bruce asked you a question that I don’t think you answered,” Macy said, leaning forward.“Do you only shift on a full moon because that’s the stories I’ve heard?”
“No,” Kaelen said, shaking his head.“I can shift with a thought.”
Macy sat back, crossing her arms across her chest.“Then you are a Shifter, not cursed.”
“But—" Kaelen said, then grinned when Macy gave a dramatic sigh.
“Why is there always a but?”
“When I am very angry, I can’t control the shift.”Kaelen glanced away, hating to express any type of weakness to this beautiful woman.Yet, there was something about her that made him want to open up and expose everything about himself.
“That doesn’t mean you’re cursed, Kaelen,” Macy said as she stood and grabbed the empty plates, taking them to the sink and began to wash them.“That means you are not one with your Werewolf.”
“Can you control your shift?”He stood and grabbed a towel.Taking the now clean plate from her, he began to dry and set it to the side.
“At first, no.I had to work on it.”Macy replied with a shrug.“Did you ever have anyone to help you when you were young?”
“No, but I’m a man now and should be able to control my beast.”Kaelen’s voice rose in irritation, but not at her.No, it was his inability to control what was inside him that put him on edge.
“What if I hit you over the head with this plate?”Macy held the plate up, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.“Would you shift out of anger?”
Kaelen snorted.“No,”
She put the plate down, turning toward him.“When I first saw you in the rope trap, you were a man.”She watched him closely.“Then you shifted.Did you do that with a thought?”
“No.”Kaelen shook his head.“It just happened.”
“Before your beast, as you call it, shifted, what was the man thinking?”Macy glanced up at him.
“If that son of a bitch laid a hand on you, I would kill him,” Kaelen said without any hesitation.
Putting the utensils she had just washed down, Macy turned to face him.“I believe that your Werewolf understands you more than you understand him.”
“No,” Kaelen tossed the towel down and stepped away, shaking his head.“My beast is dangerous to everyone.”
“I don’t believe that,” Macy stepped closer, and Kaelen couldn’t help but breathe in her womanly scent.“I think all your life, others have called you a monster, and you’ve believed it.You’ve pushed a part of you away, hating it, and in turn, your Werewolf is just as lost as you are.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kaelen frowned, ready to get the hell out of there.She was saying things he had thought, but then pushed away because he knew it was too good to be true.He was a fucking monster.
Where others forged bonds, he stood at the edges, fearing the day his control snapped and the beast broke free.He wasn’t blind; he saw the unease in the eyes of those around him.How easily they mistook restraint for menace, silence for danger.Their fear mirrored his own.And so the curse grew louder in his mind; he was a monster, not a man.
That is why Kaelen clung to the wordcursed.It explained the ache in his soul.It excused the shadows in his eyes.It gave him a reason for why he never felt at home in his own skin.Because if he were merely a Shifter, then what excuse did he have for feeling like a monster?
Perhaps the cruelest truth was that Kaelen wanted to believe otherwise.He longed to see his nature as a gift, to claim pride in the power coursing through his blood.But longing and belief were not the same.
“Shift,” Macy said, breaking into his thoughts.
“What?”He frowned, then shook his head, realizing what she had just said.“No, that won’t happen.”
“I want to meet your Werewolf without us running through the woods.I want to really meet him.”Macy put both hands on her hips and glared up at Kaelen.“You owe me.”
“Yes, I do, but I will not pay with that.”Kaelen stood firm as he glared back.
