Page 20 of Confessions of a Middle Aged Dragon Queen
No sooner did I speak the words than laughter erupted among us all—except for me. Maybe it was the relief after such a chaotic day, or maybe it was just the image of a tall, hunky, sexier-than-homemade sin Fae King saying ‘wacky Wyvern Cult.’ Whatever it was, joy rippled through us. Looking around, I realized how much these people meant to me, so I said, “We are Family with a capital F. Y’all just gotta know that I love you more than coffee and chocolate and would lose a scale off my perfectly round badonkadonk for any or all of you.”
“Here, Here!” The others all cheered, pumping their fists in the air and grinning from ear to ear.
Then it happened. Just as the beautiful hilarity that can only be shared with the people you genuinely love and respect died down, the one thing I’d been dreading since I inhaled at least a tablespoon of freshly ground, super exclusive coffee beans happened.
The question I’d successfully avoided since dialing 911 was uttered aloud.
It was no surprise at all, at least to me, that it came from the nosiest, need-to-know-everything, could not let anything go, no matter how small, person I'd ever met, Mrs. Maisie May Michelle Dellencourt-Walton, Coroner extraordinaire and one hell of a sister. Cocking her head to the side and furrowing her brow so tightly that the dried fluorescent glowing lime green goo, blackberry juice turned into finger paint, twigs and dried leaves were crunched into tiny flecks floating to the ground like multi-colored snowflakes as her fist hit her hip and she asked, "What the hell were the Dragon Flame Fireballs you sneezed all the leader dude? Is that how you burnt half of your shop to the ground?”
Once again, everybody– well, not me– laughed so hard most had tears running down their faces— even Maisie, who was sure she knew everything.
(This was also when Aideen decided to impart the little tidbit about the Dellencourt women and our troubles with Fireballs. Of course, she can’t explain why Maisie didn’t have them when she met her Mate, Jonathan. Honestly, I think she made the whole thing up, and I’m still trying to come up with the proper payback– one she’ll remember the next time she even thinks about not telling me something important–or making shit up, whatever the case may be.)
Then a most wonderful thing occurred. It was truly fantastic and amazing, making me fall even more in love with the Fairy King the Universe created for me.
Kai Rí quickly changed the subject by asking, “Before the guys and I were sent here, I was given the rundown on the existence of Dragoon Bootay, the Bibbidi Bobbidi Bubble, and the process to get permission and Magic to leave for brief periods of time, but I just gotta ask... What’s the deal with the name? Where the hell did that come from?”
Everybody’s eyes got wide. I looked at Maeve. She looked at Maisie. Maisie looked at Theresa. Then Theresa’s eyes met mine.
And just like that, we all burst out laughing. It took a second, but when I was finally able to breathe again, I quickly explained, chuckling all the way. “Well, you see. The name of the town had always been Dragon Bounty. Like on maps and shit. It was named by some pirate or ship’s captain or something.” I pushed the curls that had fallen out of the messy bun atop my head behind my ear and cleared my throat. “Anyway, when I was about eighteen months, or so the story goes, because I don’t remember, Fate showed for an impromptu visit. Apparently, she asked me how I liked living in Dragon Bounty, and I said, with my lisp and all, ‘You mean Dragoon Bootay?’ Well, she laughed and laughed, saying that would be the new name. Of course, my parents thought she was kidding until they woke up the next morning. Walking to get a loaf of bread and some oranges for juice, they saw that every welcome sign, street sign, and any other placard that had originally said Dragon Bounty was changed to Dragoon Bootay.”
Feeling my cheeks heat and knowing they were turning red when Kai smiled a special smile, I knew was just for me, I stammered, “And... Well... Yeah, that’s how it happened.”
“And we’ve been kickin’ her in the bootay ever since!” Maeve burst out laughing, then she added, “Ba-da-ching! I got another one!” Complete with motions that made it look like she was hitting a snare drum and cymbal.
I was never so glad for an interruption in my whole life when Maisie snapped her fingers and pointed at Maeve. “Look at you. Two in one day. You are on a roll.”
Yep, I was sure no one had witnessed my embarrassment until my babu sister turned her attention and her wagging finger my way. “You are so not off the hook, Big Sis. I saw those cheeks turnin’ red.” Shimmying her shoulders and wiggling her pregnant belly, she singsonged, “Martha got embarrassed. Martha got...”
“Okay, okay, okay, you win!” I reluctantly relented with a wink and smile. “You might be right. I might have been...”
“Might have been?!” My sisters squealed in unison, making everyone burst out laughing, and thankfully, forget that I could have been, just maybe, a little embarrassed about telling my Mate that I had a lisp and named our little town with the goofiest, silliest, most outrageous moniker ever when I wasn’t even two years old.
Looking back, it was really hilarious, but what warmed my heart– and the rest of me– was when Kai leaned into my side, put his arm around my shoulders, and whispered directly into my mind, "Wanna get out of here, Hot Stuff?”
Then it was my turn to lean into his embrace. As I inhaled his intoxicating scent and looked at all the people I held dear, I tried to pretend to be irritated, but in the end, I had to give up and laugh right along. “OH! And just to be clear, my new superpower is sneezing Fireballs. I’m thinkin’ about adding burping smoke and hiccupping flames to my repertoire. Whatcha think? Should I go for it?”
As everyone cheered a resounding YES, I looked up at the man, the Fae King the Universe had made for me, and I just couldn’t believe it was finally happening. I had found my other half, the one man in all the universe who completed me– and I completed him. My heart did a happy little pitter pat when I found him looking back at me with so much love and adoration in his eyes that I just had to telepathically answer his question with, "Lead on, Fairy King. Lead on."
Right in the middle of turning around with his arm still around me and my mind awash with our shared images of being together for the first time, I came to an abrupt halt. Snapping my eyes back to his, I sighed aloud, “Well, shit, I live above my shop, and my bedroom is right above the storeroom. It has to reek of smoke, if there is even still a floor. I have nowhere for us to sleep."
Waggling his eyebrows as the wings he’d been blessed with from the Goddess Danu magically sprang from his shoulder blades, Kai purred, “Who said anything about sleeping?” Kissing me on the cheek, he added, “Besides, we’re going to my house– our house. That is, if you'll have me."
"Oh, yeah, I'll have you and then some, Kai Rí. All day, every day, for all of forever."
A single flap of his gorgeous blue and silver wings, and we lifted off just as Maisie hollered, "I'll call Zelda as soon as I've had three showers and performed four of the Cleansing Rituals–as soon as I figure out what the hell a Cleansing Ritual is and how a Dragon Queen does such a thing.”
“Ask Zelda,” I offhandedly replied, falling even deeper into the love I saw in the eyes of my Fae King.
“Oh, yeah,” Maisie giggled. “And while I’m talkin’ to her, we’ll put together a plan to rebuild Marvelous Martha’s.” Before I could so much as nod, she added, “Don’t you worry one little bit, I’m sure she can convince the Baba Yaga that they need to use Magic to get your shop ready to open tomorrow morning.”
“No hurry,” I grinned. “No hurry at all.”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Theresa snickered. "In other words, do it all, girl. Do it all!"
“Have fun, y’all,” Maeve beamed.
“Be happy, Martha. Make that Fae King yours forever,” Maisie added.
