Page 57 of By The Book
Claire kept walking, her heart in her throat as she eavesdropped on them.
“Yeah, bud. I’m sorry. Orders are orders.”
“You’re not in the military, though. Tell them you can’t go.”
“It’s my job, Tommy. I have to go where I’m needed.”
She yanked on the door handle only to discover it still locked and fought the urge to stomp her foot in frustration. She turned her back to them and waited impatiently on the beep.
The moment it sounded, she grabbed at the door again and Denz’s hand closed over hers.
“I’m sorry, Claire,” he said softly.
She nodded. Because what else could she do? It wasn’t like she hadn’t known from the beginning that it would never be more than temporary. “Take me home, please.”
The trip to her father’s house was made in total silence. Denz didn’t even turn on the radio as he made the turns and finally pulled into the driveway.
Tommy bolted before the vehicle had fully stopped, and Claire felt like doing the same, though she sat there while Denz shut off the engine and turned toward her.
“Claire.”
She surged across the seat toward him and pressed her lips to his, silencing whatever platitudes he was about to make. She didn’t want to hear them. Couldn’t. Because she was already pulled so taut she felt like her body would break from the tension.
So she kissed him. Kissed him like it was the last time, because it was and it sucked and she might never see him again. Because her heart was breaking and they’d barely had any time together and yet she couldn’t stop from feeling what she felt.
The kiss was gritty and salty, heat and sadness, full of bittersweet desperation for what might have been. And when it was over and she pulled away, she stared at his handsome face, searing it into her brain. “Stay safe.”
“Claire.”
“Staysafe,” she whispered. “Goodbye, Marcus.”
“Claire.”
“What? Do you want me to ask you to stay? I won’t. Ican’t. You either want to or you don’t. You either choose to stay o-or youdon’t,but it has to be your choice because you know that I can’t… Your job… People shooting at you? Just…promise me you’ll stay safe.”
He didn’t speak and she knew why. Denz didn’t break his promises and his safety wasn’t in his control. Wasn’t up to him but whoever he came up against in the name of protecting someone else.
Claire got out and raced for the house. Thankfully her father wasn’t in sight, and she ignored Tommy’s closed door and quickly grabbed a change of clothes before heading to the shower. She stayed there under the water until it turned cold and then emerged to find multiple messages from Marsali and Eliza. She ignored them and knocked on Tommy’s door. When he didn’t answer, she opened it to find him in bed. “Hey. You okay?”
“He’s going to die,” her son whispered softly. “Just like Dad.”
The words were so thick with emotion she could barely make them out.
Her heart broke all over again, and she entered the room and sat on the edge of his bed to rub her hand over his back. “He’ll be careful.”
“He was already shot.”
“It’s his life, Tommy.”
“But what about you? Don’t you get a say?”
She blinked hard and tried to find the words. “It’s not like that. It never was. There are certain decisions we have to make on our own, and this is one of them for Denz. He has to choose because otherwise he would resent us.”
“Why didn’t Dad choose us? Why did he keep going back?”
She’d asked herself that question many times over the years. Especially after he’d been wounded on his second tour and chose to go back a third time. “Dad always told me he had to. That’s all I know. He felt it was his duty to his country and to his men.”
Tommy turned his face into the pillow and sobbed. “I hate them. I hate them both.”
