Page 29 of Second Chance Wedding
“Tell me he at least gives you child support.”
She pressed a hand to a worn, salt-aged piling, leaning on it for support while she berated herself internally. No one—absolutely no one—could hate her orblameher more than she hated and blamed herself. “I didn’t ask for support.”
“Why not? It’s the least he could do for you. For his son.”
She shut her eyes and tried to push the painful bits away. “Cole, this— Benjamin, all of it… It’smyfault. Okay? No one else is to blame. No one else is responsible for my actions or his upbringing. Just me.” It was a bitterly painful truth her parents had hammered home, but it was one she couldn’t deny then or now.
She glanced up in time to see Cole narrow his gaze on her.
“It takes two to make a baby. He’s a deadbeat dad.”
“He is,” she agreed with a ready nod. “So why would I want him in Benjamin’s life?”
“What about your father? Does he help you? Spend time with Ben?”
The questions stung, but the reality of them hurt worse. Her family had not only made it clear she was responsible for her actions that night but that she was responsible for the decision to keep the unplanned pregnancy when there were multiple other options for her to consider. “My father’s a busy man.”
“So no. What about your mother? Ana, what aren’t you saying here?”
Analise lifted her chin and tried to steady the emotions rolling through her like stormy waves. She wanted to argue that her son didn’t need anyone but her because there were so many single moms out there going it alone, raising wonderful, even-keeled kids, but she couldn’t—not after Benjamin’s anger had led to Cole’s reappearance in her life. “I’m saying it’s none of your business,” she said, desperate to turn the tide.
“But it is when he wreckedmybusiness. Now tell me why you’re being so evasive. What happened after you told your parents you were pregnant?”
Something on her face must have given her away because Cole stepped closer, his expression darkening, changing, to one of concern.
“Ana…?”
It hurt. Dear God, ithurtto remember their responses. Their words and expressions of horror and disgust, embarrassment and humiliation. The way they’d refused to let her come home from college to visit once her pregnancy showed because they didn’t want their friends to know. “They didn’t take the news well.”
He stepped closer, and every cell in her body ached to reach out and curl against him the way she had during their time together. To put her head on his chest and breathe him in and feel the comfort of his strong arms wrapped around her. To feel safe.
“What happened? Ana, talk to me.”
She didn’t want to, yet…maybe purging those memories would bring her another step closer to forgetting the pain. “Just…life happened. I’d broken things off with you. And it wasn’t easy for me, Cole. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I just wasn’t ready.”
“I know,” he said softly.
“I was…reeling. Wondering if I’d made a huge mistake. Drowning in the fact my parents were so freaking happy even though I-I felt like I’d been ripped to shreds.”
She turned and leaned her full body weight against the piling. Around them, people talked and laughed and enjoyed the beautiful day. Children screeched as they ran toward the water and away again in a game of surf tag.
Overhead, plank boards squeaked as people walked out to the T, and fishing carts rumbled along behind their owners as the fishermen either arrived or left for home. It was just a normal day. Except it wasn’t.
She inhaled, the breath shuddering through her lungs like a toddler who’d cried too hard. “I didn’t go to the party to find someone. I just— I was upset and so, soangryat my parents and life and— I started drinking. Drank way too much. And then I made a stupid, stupid mistake.”
“The guy took advantage of you.”
Fury rolled from Cole, and she forced herself to shake her head. A part of her wanted to lie and play the victim, because shehadbeen drinking, and there were those that wouldn’t have done what Tim did.
But she couldn’t place all the blame on Tim. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t. He didn’t force her to drink. Didn’t force her to have sex. She’d done those things. She was also to blame.“No, he didn’t.”
“He did. Ana, there’s a freaking song about taking a drunk girl home and not taking advantage of her. He should’ve looked out for you, not??—”
“It’s my fault!I’mto blame here.Me. I…wanted comfort,” she said, feeling a rush of heat surging into her face at her embarrassment. “I wanted to dull the pain and make it go away. Ilovedyou, but I couldn’t— And I’d just—” She broke off, unable to finish either sentence. “I can’t blame Benjamin’s father, and neither can you.”
She watched as Cole’s jaw clenched and his nostrils flared as he inhaled and processed her words. The fact she’d been a willing participant in an otherwise disastrous decision. That she’daskeda boy for physical comfort, and he’d supplied it. Every second of her bad decision fell on her shoulders, and she had to accept that.
“What did your parents say? When you ended things with me?” Cole asked softly, his words nearly carried away by the wind.
