Page 59 of Second Chance Wedding
Years ago, her family had driven her away. Shoved her out the door with every criticism and the statement that they knew best.
And even though she’d had a child to raise and no real sense of how to do it, she’d been determined to do it on her own, unable to forget the things they said in their upset.
But even if she’d followed their suggestions to give Ben up, she knew she’d feel the way she did right now. Resentful and angry and wonderingwhythey couldn’t just accept her the way she was. For who she was.
She’d known she couldn’t give Ben up, either for adoption or as his mother. Couldn’t abort him and pretend all was well. Couldn’t forget that Ben’s fatherandher parents had asked her to do those things.
Her baby wasn’t to blame for her decisions. But after all these years… How was she just now seeing that her mother was in the same position? Torn between the man she loved and the child she’d born and loving both?
Or was it simply that her perspectives had changed with the maturity that life and the last fifteen years had given her and her parents were more…complicated and comprehending than she thought? They’d wanted the best for her—just like she wanted the best for Ben. But the best wasn’t all black and white.
“Mom didn’t do anything,” Ben said. “I’mthe one who messed up, so stop yelling at her.”
“Analise, what does he mean?”
Her father’s low tone demanded a response, but when the silence stretched, he banged his fist onto the table, and Ana flinched in surprise. Ben jumped to his feet as though ready to physically defend her. A sight that took her breath because it reminded her of the way the Blackwell brothers had done the same during that first meeting.
“I stole a limo and wrecked it, and now I’m working to pay off the damages because Cole owns it,” Ben said before Ana could utter a word to stop him. “Nowleave us alone! We didn’t want to come here anyway, and we’re not staying so you can yell at us. Mom, let’s go home.”
Analise didn’t look at either of her parents or Ben. She couldn’t force herself to do it. She was embarrassed and ashamed. Ben’s actions in stealing the limo proved how bad of a job she’d done as a parent, didn’t they? She was mortified by Ben’s behavior, yet having her parentshear…
It was like she relived the humiliation of having to come home from college to say she was pregnant,admitwhat she’d done at that party. At how Benjamin had been conceived.
Somehow she got to her feet, trembling, stumbling as she rounded the table using the unoccupied chairs to support her shaking legs.
Ben grasped her hand, and together they made their way to the front door of her parents’ house.
Ben even grabbed her purse from the chair by the massive double door entry and kept hold of her as they descended the steps to her Rav4.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I messed up. Are you okay?”
Her heart tugged at his words. A choked sob thickened his voice, and tears burned hot in her eyes. Her baby boy was bashing himself internally but still trying to take care of her.Thiswas the boy she knew and remembered.
Her heart pinched at the fact her son was now showing an empathy and strength he hadn’t before. Something else she could probably attribute to his time with Cole and his brothers. “I’m okay.Weare okay. In fact, I’m kind of hungry,” she said even though food was the farthest thing from her mind. “What do you say we…drive around for a bit and then—Chinese Thanksgiving?”
* * *
It didn’t take them long to get to one of their favorite restaurants. After placing their order for drinks and food, Ana braced herself for the conversation brewing in her head ever since Ben’s announcement at Thanksgiving dinner. “So…the military?”
Ben fiddled with his straw wrapper and shrugged.
“I’ve been thinking about it.”
“Does this have anything to do with Cole and all the time you’ve been spending with him?”
“No.”
“Ben.”
“Fine. Maybe? I don’t know. I mean, I guess it does some, but it’s not like I want to go to college, so why not?”
“Well, ‘so why not’ might not be a good reason to sign up for the military,” she said softly, striving to keep her voice even and all fear, bias and complaint out of the tone. “The military is hardcore, Ben. It’s not the easy-A class you take when nothing else appeals at the time.”
“I know that. I just…think it would be cool. Would you be mad at me if I joined?”
“Mad? No. Scared for you? Yes,” she said honestly. “I love you. You are…my world, and when I think of you in danger, I can’t…” She forced herself to meet Ben’s gaze and hold it. “Iwillsupport the decision you make in the future.Afteryou have finished high school and have a few more years to check out other ideas of what you might want to do. Sound fair?”
She watched as the tension seemed to fade from his shoulders, and he slumped a little lower in the chair with a nod.
