Page 97 of Second Chance Wedding
Her gaze flicked up to meet his before lowering again.
“Especially when…I see now that she’s right.”
The seat jolted and then stopped as the wheel twisted to board other riders.
He stared down at her as she plucked at the edge of her coat.
“When Jonesie told me what happened with you…how you reacted to me breaking things off,” she said, “I blamed myself. And while Idohold some of the responsibility because of how I handled things, I know that I’m not responsible for decisions you made.”
“I’m glad you finally see that.”
“Quinley said something tonight about owning our choices, and it made me realize that also means owning my choice to…not be with you. And I can’t. I don’t want that.”
He stiffened in the seat, pain pummeling him like a prize fighter. “You trapped me on a Ferris wheel to tell me that you don’t want to be with me?”
“What? No, that’s not— I do! I meant Ido,” she repeated, squeezing her eyes shut and releasing a sound of pure frustration. “That’snotwhat I meant. I meant I couldn’t ownmydecision to push you away because I don’t want to own that. I don’t want to choose that. Oh, I can’t believe I’m messing this up, too. I mean, I don’t want to push you away or lose you.”
He tugged her closer when those words sank in and lowered his lips to her ear. “Now we’re getting somewhere. Keep talking.”
He felt her shiver as his breath tickled her, and she glanced up at him, her expression healing all the broken bits with a single look.
Her fingers gripped the sleeve of his coat as though to hold him in place, and he shifted until he held one of her hands.
“I don’t want this—us—to be another regret on my list. If you’re right and thisisour second chance and we get anothermoment,I want to be with you, and I hope you still feel the same even though I’m obviously a bit of a challenge.”
He laughed at that understatement while the wheel jolted a few more times during the course of her apology. They were now three-quarters of the way to the top. The city lights glittered beneath them, and the noise of the boardwalk faded until the only sound he heard was her soft, anxious breaths. The scent of her filled his head and made him think of tangled sheets and soft sighs. All the years they had to catch up on. “You’re the best kind of challenge, baby girl.”
“Do you mean that? You won’t get…tired of all my insecurities? According to Quinley, I’m a little crazy.”
“You’re the best kind of crazy.”
“Cole…I’m sorry I yelled at you and pushed you away. You were right about me not forgiving myself for hurting you and my parents and—Ben. I’ve held onto all the hurt and pain forso longand… It’s going to take time for me to share him and the responsibilities of raising him. But I don’twantto do it alone anymore. I want…whatever’s next. I want you. I want us.”
He pressed a kiss to her hair and breathed in the scent that was just Ana. Vanilla and coconut and sweetness. Goodness. And a little crazy. “Does this mean you’ve finally forgiven yourself?”
He wanted her to. Because until she forgave herself for the past and stopped running from the pain, she couldn’t deal with it. Couldn’t move on or give them the second chance they deserved.
“I’m trying. I really am.”
A wry smile tugged at his lips. “That’s a good start.”
The wheel moved and stopped yet again, and the carriage swayed from the motion, rocking them.
Ana leaned her head back on his biceps, face tilted toward him. She looked worried still, and nervous.
“I said some really horrible things to you,” she whispered. “I wouldn’t blame you for being wary of me. Especially after what happened back then.”
“You mean back in the past that we’re forgiving ourselves for and are moving on from?”
“Can you forgive me? Truly? Will you…give me another chance to love you? Because I think I do. To be honest, I don’t think I ever stopped.”
He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers, holding her gaze and watching as it softened and darkened. Her lips were cold, trembling beneath his until he deepened the kiss. “What breakup?” he asked against her lips before kissing her again. “I love you, too, baby girl.”
He vaguely registered the Ferris wheel moving, felt it the moment they’d rounded the top only for them to stop again.
Cole broke the kiss and nuzzled his lips along Ana’s cheek into her hair. He memorized her scent, the feel of her skin. The hitch in her breath when he nipped her earlobe. “Open your eyes,” he said. “Watch us start our second chance.”
The wheel gave way, and the rush of the fall began as it spun without stopping. This time they went round in a full circle of lights and blurred faces and cold wind, rising to the top again. And then again.
