Page 30 of Second Chance Wedding
She wrapped her arms around her front and squeezed. “They thought we were too young and too serious. That things had moved too fast. It…let up a bit when you joined the Marines but then they saw me wearing the ring you’d given me and found out I hadn’t applied to Duke because we were going to marry… They were beyond furious.”
“And I left you to battle them all on your own.”
“You wanted to tell them at Christmas, and I wouldn’t let you,” she countered, lifting her face to make sure he could see the truth.
“Why didn’t you say anything when I came home for Christmas? Were your parents really out of town when I asked to talk to them?”
Analise shivered, and in response, Cole moved closer, his back to the wind to block her from it. It was such a sweet gesture and so typical of the boy she’d known that she had to blink away a hot prickle of tears. “Not exactly. They’d gone to my grandma’s house in Landfall and weren’tattheir house so…”
“You said they were out of town. I knew you were lying.”
“I’msorry. Try to understand, Cole. You had three days leave and were so happy to be home. And I was so happy to see you. I didn’t want anything to ruin your visit. To ruin Christmas.”
“But I could’ve talked to your parents.Wecould’ve talked about how you could go to college and— Ana, we could’ve worked something out. If…if you’d wanted to, I mean.”
Memories of that last Christmas together filled her head, and she smiled sadly. “It wouldn’t have changed the fact that by the time graduation rolled around, I still wasn’t ready. You’re looking for someone to blame, but I’m standing right here. And like it or not, it doesn’t matter now.”
“It does to me. When I couldn’t get leave for your graduation, I proved to you that the military would always come first.”
She lowered her gaze to the water rolling in near them. “That’s when I…broke. Every fear and insecurity I had about our relationship became bigger, and I wondered what else I’d miss if I married you. Even if I went to college wherever you were based, how could I ever establish a career moving from place to place as a military wife? How could I finish a degree when I’d have to stop and start over again with every reassignment?”
“I get it,” he said softly. “You got scared and justifiably so.”
“Cole, I wasn’t ready. I couldn’tbewhat you needed me to be or who Iwantedto be. So I sent the email and…wound up at the party upset and broken and mad at the world,” she told him. “So I tried to forget I existed in the only ways I knew how.”
Ana slid around the piling and turned away from Cole to stare out at the little white caps breaking as the waves rolled to shore. She was about to take another step but wasn’t sure her knees would hold her weight when Cole wrapped an arm around her from behind.
His hand settled on her opposite shoulder, his forearm stretching across her collar bones, and a single step left him leaning his shoulder on the piling, her back against his chest.
She lifted her hands to his arm, intending to loosen his hold and establish some distance because she didn’t deserve the comfort he offered, but instead she found herself just…holding on.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he said softly. “Not the way you needed me to be. That’s not how a relationship is supposed to work. I let you down.”
His words gutted her. She hadn’t been there for him, either. Because sometimes love simply wasn’t enough.
She felt the wiry hair of his forearm beneath her fingertips, the steely strength under his skin. He’d gotten some ink while in the service, and she found herself staring at the design.Semper Fiscrolled beneath her fingertips with decorative flourishes and shadows surrounding it, ending several inches above his wrist. There were also small letters and dates tucked tightly to the main tattoo, and her instincts told her they belonged to friends he’d lost.
Fifteen years of life separated them, but in that moment she shared his pain. She knew she should pull away and establish some distance, but in the shadows of the pier, the world fell away, and it was them—staring out at the end of the world.
The heat of Cole at her back, protecting her from the cool breeze, carried the scent of sandalwood and mint. It filled her head in a heady combination and left her trembling for a different reason.
“Tell me what happened next. Did you…like this guy? Want more?”
He murmured the questions near her ear to be heard over the surf and the noise overhead. Her fingers flexed over his arm, and she shook her head. “No. I mean, after the grad party we saw each other once more, but we didn’t… It was a mistake I didn’t want to repeat, and life moved on,” she said. “My parents pulled some strings and got me a late admission into Duke. I went to my classes, settled in, and…then I couldn’t stop throwing up.”
She broke his hold and turned to face him, a wry smile pulling at her lips as she met his gaze. “My roommate suspected it first. She got me a test and freaked out with me and then went back and bought two more packs so I could take those and confirm the first.”
“And Benjamin’s father just abandoned you?”
“I contacted him, told him when all the tests were positive because I thought, well, I’m not sure what I thought because we didn’t hook up again after that one night. Anyway, he shut downanyidea of involvement.” She shook her head at just how quickly he’d denied being the father, called her names. “He made it clear he didn’t believe me, said if I was, I should abort and that, either way, I was on my own. After that, he blocked me. I knew his presence wasn’t a loss given his response.”
Cole muttered something under his breath before he tugged her into his arms and hugged her close.
“I can guess how that went over with your parents.”
She closed her eyes and breathed him in, letting his scent comfort her and soothe her even as she warned herself against it. She and Cole had had their chance. This? This was just…closure.
Analise lifted her head from where she’d allowed herself to rest it against his chest and purposefully removed herself from his embrace, taking several steps back until she left the shadows of the pier and the sun found her. “A word of advice if you ever run into them. Go in the other direction.”
