Page 43 of A Very Italian Wedding
15
ROSE
Rose watched Ben steer the Citroën out of the car park and tried to make herself comfortable. They’d had fun on the beach aside from that strange moment in the water, when she’d thought she might have hurt his feelings. Then the moment had passed as quickly as it had arrived, and he’d morphed back into the man she recognised. Fun and sexy with no hint of depth. Only this time Rose wasn’t sure she was seeing the truth.
She didn’t know what to make of Ben now. When they’d met, she’d thought he was vain and shallow, but now she suspected that might have been a mistake. He’d even asked if she felt that way and she’d waved it off, but it was clear he was a little hurt by her opinion of him and she felt embarrassed.
As a psychologist she shouldn’t have jumped to such an instant and negative conclusion based on looks alone. It was clear that Ben had a lot more to him than she’d assumed, but Rose wasn’t sure she was ready to explore it. Wasn’t sure she wanted to open doors that she might want to go through.
They joined the main highway and a car whizzed past, making her flinch. The road was busy. Probably because it was still lunchtime, and she felt her insides twist.
Her fear of being in a car was limiting her life – she’d thought about talking to someone about it, but it had never felt like the right time. What was she so afraid of? Rose wasn’t sure she wanted to examine that now either. What did it say about her? A psychologist who was afraid to look inside her own mind was hardly qualified to look into anyone else’s. Perhaps it was time for her to open herself up a little?
‘How long till we get there?’ she asked, her voice pinched. They’d eaten at the beach just before they’d left, so she wasn’t hungry and there was no excuse to stop, but she wasn’t looking forward to the journey. Another car sped past, and Rose gripped the edge of her seat as blood pumped loudly in her ears.
‘Probably two hours,’ Ben said kindly. ‘Feel free to sleep – you’ll need your energy for the wedding favours later.’ He began to speed up and overtook a couple of cars. Rose swallowed, trying not to let the sensation of being out of control affect her. But she could feel her heart pounding in her chest, the nausea building up inside her throat. She heard her mother’s ringtone, Elvis Presley’s ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’, start playing, but her mobile was in her handbag, so she decided to ignore it. Her mother would just be chasing her decision about the wedding and Rose had no answer for her yet.
She was tired of being stuck in the middle of her parents’ relationships. But didn’t feel right about walking away. What would they do if their latest marriages fell into chaos again and she wasn’t there to pick up the pieces?
‘You’re uncomfortable,’ Ben guessed, glancing at her.
‘I’ll feel a lot better if you kept your eyes on the road,’ she said with feeling.
She saw him nod and fix his eyes ahead as another car overtook and squealed past. Rose closed her eyes, then opened them again because it was harder not to watch and she didn’t want to sleep.
Sunshine beat down on the windscreen and even though the air conditioning was on full, the car was boiling. The heat seemed to bring out Ben’s scent – a combination of salt from the sea and the coconut sunscreen she’d seen him use. It made her whole body tingle, made her want to leap across the car so she could bury her face in his neck. But Rose wasn’t sure she wanted to acknowledge that either. He was Marco’s best friend – and in her quest to dissuade Luna from marrying in such a hurry, he was supposed to be her arch-rival. It was easier that way. Way easier to ignore the attraction between them.
‘Do you want me to distract you?’ Ben asked after a few tense moments.
‘How?’ Rose flinched as another car flew past at rocket speed.
Ben thought for a moment. ‘Usually, I’d flirt with you,’ he said, smiling ruefully. ‘But I think you’d see through all my usual tricks.’
‘You have tricks?’ Rose found herself bantering, surprised by how easy it was to slip into. One of her exes had once accused her of being robotic – an insult that had cut deep at the time although Rose had soon decided he was wrong. Now she wasn’t so sure. She was in a different league to Ben, who interacted with people so easily. She felt her cheeks flush as the impulse to flirt back got the better of her. ‘Try me,’ she challenged.
Ben raised an eyebrow. ‘You asked for it,’ he said, sounding surprised. ‘You look pretty today.’
Rose snorted. ‘Is that the best you can do?’ she asked. There was a beep behind them, and she twisted around and saw a massive blue bus bearing down before it swerved into the other lane. She sucked in a breath and jerked forward linking her fingers together, feeling her nails dig into her palms.
‘I was barely trying, don’t give up on me yet,’ he joked, ignoring the bus as it disappeared into the distance.
Rose found herself smiling even as three more cars zoomed past in quick succession, making her breath catch on its journey from her lungs. ‘Bring it on.’ She forced the words out keeping her tone playful, bemused by her own behaviour. What had got into her – was it the statue again, or was that just an excuse they were both using, unwilling to take responsibility for feelings they didn’t want?
Ben looked amused although there was something strange about the set of his shoulders now – it was almost as if he was disappointed. ‘Your brain fascinates me,’ he attempted.
‘Nice try,’ she said lightly even though the compliment had made her flush. ‘Looks are, after all, a lucky hand of fate, whereas intelligence can be earned and cultivated. You guessed right that it would please me. Bravo.’
‘I said I was good.’ Ben’s tone was amused, but again there was something off about it. Was this something to do with what she’d said at the beach?
‘Do women always fall for your charms?’ Rose asked, leaning back in her seat and trying to relax, hoping Ben would too. The scenery was beautiful and she looked out of the window, admiring the mountains in the distance and the vibrant colours of the flowers and trees. She caught a waft of Ben’s sunscreen again and opened the window a crack so she could feel the breeze on her cheeks.
Ben frowned. ‘It’s not a game. I’m just trying to make them feel good about themselves. I don’t…’ He sighed, clearly searching for the right words. ‘I’m not pandering to my ego and I’m not indiscriminate.’ He fell silent and Rose let him think. Wondered if this is what had been bothering him. Was disturbed that her opinion of him mattered. Did that mean she mattered? Because if she did, that would be bad for both of them.
‘I know you’re not,’ Rose said because somehow, she did. Ben was a strange mixture of real and unreal. On the surfaceyou got what you saw: a stunning face, perfect body. A veritable Adonis who seemed happy to deliver whatever you wanted to hear. There were plenty of people vying for his attention. But underneath Rose was beginning to suspect he was much more. That perhaps he’d been pretending and was struggling with that now.
‘I’m not sure why it’s important to me that you know that,’ he opened up, wincing.
‘I do know, Ben,’ Rose admitted. ‘It’s just we’re on opposite sides here and it’s easier if I paint you as someone I can’t respect.’ The car fell silent, and Rose wasn’t sure who was more surprised by her honesty.
