Page 20 of Christmas at the Scottish Lodge
‘What about Bonnie?’ She forced the words out. She didn’t really care about the chef, but she had to find a way to make Jed stop. She didn’t have the strength to push his hands away and didn’t that just prove what an idiot she was?
Life wasn’t a romance novel. If it was, she and Jed would be lying on blankets in front of the fire while it roared andthrew pretty shadows over their naked limbs. She swallowed and shook her head, trying to shake away the image of him kissing her, of them peeling each other’s clothes off.
‘Bonnie?’ Jed sounded surprised. ‘What about her?’
‘You’re dating.’ Mairi stiffened.
He immediately dropped his hands, and she wanted to curse herself, even though she knew it was for the best.
A flurry of emotions swept across Jed’s face and his lips stretched. She couldn’t read his expressions anymore. He was a master at hiding how he felt, but even she knew there was something he wanted to say.
‘What?’ Was he going to tell her they were serious? She felt sick.
Jed sighed and reached into the pocket of his coat, pulling out the small silver hip flask she’d given him for his twentieth birthday. Mairi frowned. She hadn’t expected him to still have it.
He offered it to her. ‘Brandy. Medicinal.’
She paused, then took the flask and sipped. If Jed was going to give her bad news, she needed to numb herself. The liquid burned her throat, but her limbs immediately felt looser. Perhaps if he said it quickly enough, nothing inside her would break?
‘Tell me. But say it fast. Please.’
Jed sighed and swigged so much of the brandy Mairi wondered if he’d emptied the flask. He stared at her, his eyes glittering as he licked his lips and she followed the movement, trying not to think about how good he tasted. His mouth tightened. ‘I’m not seeing Bonnie or anyone,’ he said roughly. ‘I never have been.’
‘What?’ Mairi shifted back in her seat. ‘But Quinn told me you were.’ She hadn’t misunderstood. So had her brother been lying, and if he had, why? ‘When I saw you earlier, she was talking as if…’
She paused. Bonnie hadn’t said much, had she? She’d mentioned Jed had been to the hotel and hadn’t gone into the kitchen to see her. She’d offered to put food aside for him, but he hadn’t seemed particularly enthusiastic. Mairi screwed up her nose. She’d been so triggered by the idea of the two of them that she hadn’t really listened to the words. Looked at through another lens, the chef was besotted with Jed, but perhaps he didn’t feel the same way…She leaned forward trying to look into Jed’s face, wincing when the movement made her ankle hurt.
He swiped a hand across his mouth. ‘I told Quinn I was seeing her because…’ Wind rattled the door, making him flinch and Jed glanced towards the exit, then he shook his head.
‘Please finish that sentence,’ Mairi said when the silence stretched.
He grimaced. The intimacy, the connection she thought she’d imagined just now had vanished. ‘I don’t think that’s a good decision, I’m not sure what I was thinking.’ Jed rose to his feet and strode away. Then he began to pace the room, sidestepping the sleeping dogs, before dropping to his knees and adding wood to the fading fire.
‘We’re going to need more kindling,’ he said hoarsely. ‘I think we might have to stay the night.’ He frowned. ‘I need to go outside.’
‘I’ll come with you.’ She began to stand.
‘You need to rest that ankle. It’s swollen, so you’ve got to keep it elevated and I can get ice while I’m out.’ He glanced at the door. The unanswered question hung between them making the air feel thick and heavy.
‘I know there are things you want to say,’ Mairi whispered.
Jed sucked in a breath. ‘If you don’t want to call mountain rescue because of Quinn, then we’re going to have to walk our way out of this once the storm’s cleared. If you injure yourself again and can’t walk, I’ll have to call for help.’
‘Fine. I’ll wait here,’ she said, dropping back down.
Jed looked relieved, then he made his way to the door, before disappearing.
Mairi gazed around the room when she was alone. What had just happened? Had Jed been telling the truth? Hadn’t he dated Bonnie or anyone else? If not, why had he lied?
Did he still have feelings for her? It seemed unlikely, but that didn’t stop the surge of hope in Mairi’s chest. He might blame her for the accident, but he wasn’t dating and didn’t want a divorce. It could mean a lot of things. But for the first time since she’d arrived in Holly Berry Lodge, Mairi wondered if perhaps there was hope for them, after all.
And if there was, she was going to have to push and push until he opened up.
9
MAIRI
19 December
