Page 40 of Christmas at the Scottish Lodge
He had to get back out there. His eyes drifted towards the black slope, and beyond it to Devil’s Run. He had to win, or he was going to lose everything that had ever mattered to him…
18
MAIRI
‘How are you getting on with the ending of your book?’ Kenna asked as soon as Mairi answered her mobile. She was taking a break at her desk after making shepherd’s pies and cupcakes for later. Her head ached and she’d hardly slept last night – too churned up after the kiss with Jed and his insistence it had been a mistake. What would have happened if Greer hadn’t interrupted, would he still have thought it was a mistake then? It’s not like she could ask him, he’d been avoiding her ever since.
She stared at the blank page on her laptop. ‘It’s coming along,’ she lied. ‘I’ll get it done by the new year.’Somehow.
‘Aye, well, make sure you do. Both of our careers are relying on it. You need to tell me if you’re stuck because I might be able to help. In other news,’ Kenna added, her tone businesslike, ‘I saw Harry at a book launch last night.’
‘Aye, I think I was meant to go with him.’ He’d invited her to the party and had been devastated when she’d said she wouldn’t be back. Mairi glanced at the large teddy bear in the corner of her bedroom. It was still clutching the three heart-shaped balloons which were slowly deflating. She’d texted Harry a thank you, and had intended to follow up with a call. But the kiss withJed had changed everything and she was going to have to end their relationship today. It was unfair to keep him hanging on, especially when he felt so strongly about her. She wasn’t looking to hurt him – she knew how that felt.
‘The thing is—’ Kenna said gruffly. ‘I’m not sure how to tell you this.’ Her voice was tense.
‘What?’ Mairi asked, frowning. ‘Did he ask about me?’ There was no way Harry could know about the kiss with Jed or that she was married to him, but that didn’t stop the sharp pang of guilt.
She glanced at the bouquet of flowers which were wilting on her desk. Harry was so into her, so open and happy to show it – was she crazy for chasing the fantasy of her runaway groom?
‘Not exactly,’ Kenna said awkwardly. ‘Actually, he was at the event with someone. Another author. Apparently, her sales are really quite good at the moment.’ Her voice was tight. ‘Better than yours.’
‘I wouldn’t expect him to go alone,’ Mairi said reasonably.
‘Well, they were—’ Kenna paused. ‘I’m really sorry,’ she blurted. ‘But they were all over each other. Kissing and toasting each other with champagne.’
‘What?’ Mairi’s jaw dropped.
‘I know you two have been dating and you thought it was going to get serious, but I think he might not feel the same way.’ Kenna paused. ‘After everything that happened with Jed and your eejit first husband…’ She sighed. ‘Harry J Miles doesn’t deserve you any more than the other two.’
Mairi pulled the mobile away from her ear and stared at it. ‘He was with someone else?’ she checked, shocked. ‘Another author?’
‘Aye and they left holding hands.’ Kenna let out a long breath.
‘Well, that’s…’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Kenna said with feeling. ‘I really thought he was different. You deserve a love worthy of one of your novels.’
‘It’s brilliant!’ Mairi did a little happy wriggle in the middle of the bedroom and cheered. If she had any doubts about her feelings for Harry, the wave of relief rolling through her now proved she didn’t have any.
‘You don’t have to be strong for me,’ Kenna said gently, sounding a little confused. ‘For the first time ever, I think I might agree with Quinn about something. I know you told me he wasn’t very keen on Harry, and I thought he was being overprotective again. But he obviously had a point…’
‘I think so too, and I reallyamhappy about it.’ She stood and picked up the flowers before ceremoniously dumping them into the bin. ‘Harry might not have gone about it the right way, but I’m genuinely relieved.’ She carried the empty vase into the bathroom and poured the water away, feeling lighter. It was symbolic, a cleansing of the room, a goodbye to the relationship she’d thought she’d wanted. The mindless adoration she’d craved. But it had been wrong for her all along.
‘Because of Jed?’ Kenna asked tentatively.
‘Because I’ve realised I don’t really have feelings for Harry,’ Mairi said quietly. ‘I wanted to care for him so much, I really did…’ She’d thought he was her route to security and happiness. Now she realised he’d simply been the easiest thing to latch onto so she wasn’t alone.
‘Because it would have made it easier for you to get over Jed?’ Kenna guessed.
‘Aye, and because I wanted someone to love me so badly, I wanted to be needed – I didn’t realise just anyone wouldn’t do.’ Mairi winced. ‘That wasn’t fair. To him or to me. Harry’s done me a favour. I was going to call him today to break things off anyway.’
‘You were? Why?’
‘Long story,’ Mairi said lightly. ‘I might turn it into a book one day.’
‘Aye, well, as long as you finish that one,’ Kenna said dryly. ‘Seriously, I’m happy you’re taking this so well.’ She paused and her voice changed. ‘Does that mean something’s changed with Jed?’
Mairi shrugged. ‘I don’t know for sure. But I’m going to find out.’
