Page 48 of Christmas at the Scottish Lodge
‘Sure.’ Jed pulled a face. It would be anything but okay, but he’d run out of ways to delay Quinn. If he’d been the one to answer the phone instead of Douglas, he might have been able to tell him there were no rooms available. But now it was too late…
He glanced at Mairi – she was almost dressed. He had no idea how they were going to keep their relationship a secret. He should stop things before either of them got in any deeper, but knew it was already too late…
Jed followed Mairi into the hallway after she’d checked no one was around. It was early so most of the guests were still asleep, but they didn’t have long until they started to rise.
He knew Mairi planned to go back to her room so she could shower and then they’d meet in the kitchen to ensure breakfast was covered. Jed had arranged for Scott to help out and Douglas would be around somewhere – assuming he wasn’t fixing travel mugs to everyone’s skis. He grimaced.
‘I don’t want to tell Quinn about us when he arrives,’ he whispered as they made their way along the hallway.
She turned to face him. ‘Why not?’ She looked dismayed. ‘I thought…after last night. I thought…’ She gulped, her eyes shining. ‘Are you backing out again?’ She folded her arms, and Jed could see hurt on her face. ‘I thought we were back together,’ she murmured, her forehead creasing.
‘We are.’ He took her hand, pressing it between his palms. It felt so good to touch her again, but he wasn’t ready to articulate how good. ‘I’m not going anywhere, Mairi,’ he said, hoping that was true.
He couldn’t stand seeing worry in her face, the imprint of what he’d done to her over the last eleven months. One night wasn’t going to eradicate it or mend the trust he’d lost either. But he wasn’t going to leave her again. Not unless he messed up at the championships.
But he couldn’t do that – there was too much riding on it. Even more now. ‘I know you’re going to find it hard to believe me for a while – but please know I never want to walk away from you again.’ Jed swallowed.
She nodded slowly, but her eyes still betrayed her fears. ‘Then why can’t we tell Quinn?’ she asked. ‘If our marriage is back on, if we’re together for real. Why do we have to keep it a secret? You know how much I hate lying to him.’
His mouth pinched. How could he explain something he didn’t know how to articulate? He had to try, though. ‘I don’t want anyone thinking I’ve taken advantage of you, especially mybest friend.’ He let out a long breath. ‘You’re a successful author. I’m a?—’
‘If you say a washed-up has-been, I might smack you,’ she said, her eyes flaming.
He found himself smiling. ‘I was going to say I’m on my way to getting back to who I was.’ He paused. ‘This is difficult to explain.’
She frowned. ‘I’ll try to keep up. I don’t need you or anyone else to protect my feelings. You need to give it to me straight.’
‘I know that,’ he said. Maybe better than anyone. This was a woman who’d stood by him through everything. Probably the first person in his life – aside from his aunt Effie – who had. He’d been an idiot to throw that away. He wasn’t going to do it again. Not unless he had to.
He heard voices downstairs and winced. ‘We need to get to the kitchen. The guests are stirring. I don’t want Greer complaining about breakfast being late.’
She put her hands on her hips. ‘Not until you tell me when we can tell my brother about us.’
‘I want to win or at least make enough of a splash in the Aberlinnie Winter Wonder Ski Championships that people will take me seriously again.’ He shoved his hands into his pockets and watched her face, wondering what she’d say if he told her about his father’s debt. About his part in it. But he didn’t want to bog her down in his problems – especially when he was about to solve them for himself. ‘If I do, I’ll have a good chance of securing a coach, agent, the sponsorship deals I lost…I’m hoping everything else will follow.’ He watched her face, but her expression remained blank.
‘Mairi,’ he said, his voice soft as he pulled her closer. ‘I need to get my life back. If I do, then I’ll shout about our marriage from the rooftops.’
She shifted closer, but her attention darted over his shoulder when Greer grumbled in the hallway downstairs. Then her eyes found their way back to his.
‘I don’t know what to think.’ Her expression softened. ‘I only know I want to be with you. So I’ll wait. Just…’ Her lips pinched. ‘Please don’t hurt me again.’ With that, she marched down the corridor leaving him wondering, hoping, that he wouldn’t have to.
22
MAIRI
24 December
‘What are you doing here?’ Mairi squeaked as she watched Kenna stride through the entrance of Holly Berry Lodge the following day. She blinked a couple of times to check she wasn’t imagining it, or the huge black suitcase her agent was pulling in her wake.
‘Surprise! I’m here to spend Christmas with you,’ Kenna said, her full mouth curving impishly as she glanced around the reception area.
‘You are?’ Mairi swallowed, staring at Kenna as she spun on her heels and grinned at the Christmas decorations, wondering exactly how she was going to spend time alone with Jed now.
‘This place is charming – everything you said it was,’ Kenna cooed, looking impressed.
‘Thanks, I mean—’ Mairi sucked in a breath. ‘Why are you here, really?’
Her agent pierced her with her best take-no-prisoners stare, slowly stroking her gloved hands over her red fitted coat as she considered. ‘My festive plans fell through at the last minute,so I decided to see how you were getting on with your book.’ She sucked in her cheeks, looking serious. ‘We both know how important it is that you hit your deadline and after everything with Jed and what I told you about Harry…’ She frowned. ‘I didn’t want the news to derail you even more.’
