Page 56 of Christmas at the Scottish Lodge
‘It’s an easy slope for you to tackle,’ his father informed him. ‘In the old days you could have done it with your eyes shut. I want you to know that I’ve put a big wager on you placing in the top three.
‘Da.’ Jed felt the hit of his words, could feel the stress pop in his stomach like someone had thrown in a grenade. ‘It’s too early,’ he said gruffly wondering why he was bothering. Boyd wouldn’t listen to him. It’s not like he had faith in Jed’s ability – it was more that he couldn’t believe his son would dare to let him down again.
‘You’re going to be fine, no one’s expecting you to break any records.’ Boyd’s tone brokered no argument. ‘As long as you’vekept your life clean. I’m assuming there are no distractions. I heard the girl was still staying at the lodge from Effie – but I’m assuming you’ve told her the marriage is over and have given her a wide berth?’
Jed thought about Mairi, about what she’d said last night. She was right to push him, but she didn’t have the full story. He wasn’t going to pull her into the mess that was his life. It wouldn’t be fair. He swallowed. But if things changed today… ‘No distractions,’ he said firmly. ‘I’m ready.’
‘I’ll be watching. Someone’s filming it for YouTube – I messaged your old coach and agent and told them they might want to watch too.’
Jed felt the air gust from his lungs, leaving him with little oxygen to spare. ‘No pressure then,’ he croaked.
‘Don’t let me down,’ his da said sternly before hanging up.
‘Feck.’ Jed stared at his mobile as someone knocked on the door. He almost sprinted across the room, hoping to find Mairi on the other side. They hadn’t talked since their moment in the kitchen and she’d retired early, after giving him a meaningful look.
Was she here to wish him luck, or to tell him she’d changed her mind? That she’d wait for him – stand by him, even if he screwed everything up again. He wouldn’t deserve it. But he couldn’t imagine a world where she wasn’t in his life – where she wasn’t his wife.
His insides lurched with disappointment when the door swung open to reveal a smiling Quinn and Scott. The lad was holding a mug in one hand, and he immediately held it out. ‘Peppermint mocha. Your Aunt Effie told me to say you should drink – it has magical powers. She said think Popeye and spinach, whatever that means.’
‘Aye.’ Jed took it and swallowed the whole lot down in one, before standing aside so they could join him in the room.
‘Why are you so nervous?’ the teenager asked, cocking his head and studying Jed carefully. ‘You’ve competed a million times; half the crowd are coming just to watch you.’ His smile was wide.
Quinn gave Scott a long look. ‘He was always on edge before events. It’s part of his process. Let him have his jittery moment.’
Scott nodded and wandered to the other side of the room where Jed kept his trophies. There were shelves of them, some large, some small. ‘These are incredible.’ Scott glanced over his shoulder, his face filled with excitement. ‘There must be almost fifty.’
‘Fifty-five,’ Jed said flatly.
‘They must be worth a fortune!’ The boy leaned forward so he could get a better look.
‘Aye, well, not really.’ A few people had offered him money for them over the years, but he’d turned them down. They represented his life’s work. In many ways his worth. Certainly in his father’s eyes.
‘Not that you’d ever want to sell any,’ Scott continued before turning around. ‘Have you read your quotes this morning?’ He tracked to the mantlepiece beside the bookshelf, where Jed had placed the picture frame and notebook.
‘Nae, not yet, lad,’ he managed. ‘I’ve been…’ He swallowed. ‘Too busy.’Stressing and thinking about what Mairi had said.
He watched as Scott picked the notebook up and opened a random page. ‘“Doubt is for cowards,”’ he read.
Oh, how Jed wished he could punch his former self in the face – or at least tape up his mouth. He deserved it for spouting all that nonsense. ‘Aye,’ he croaked wondering what that made him.
‘Wise words,’ Quinn said without irony, going to sit on the edge of the bed. ‘Read another,’ he ordered.
Scott flicked to another page. ‘“When you have love, you can do anything.” Were you talking about your feelings for skiing when you said that?’
Jed let out a soft breath, feeing his stomach jolt again. He’d said it to a journalist on one of the days after he’d married Mairi.
He’d been on top of the world, and he’d thought he was invincible. Then his world had come crashing down. ‘We’d better get going,’ he said quietly. ‘I don’t want to be late.’
Jed stared into the abyss that was Devil’s Run, trying to block out the noise of the crowd and other skiers who huddled in clusters near the top, chatting and swopping tales. He’d shaken Quinn and Scott as soon as they’d arrived at the event, asking them to wait at the end – so he could have some alone time he’d said. To prepare mentally.
He knew Mairi and Kenna were down there too waiting. Douglas and Effie had stayed at Holly Berry Lodge so they could see the electrician who’d promised to arrive within the hour. Somehow, they’d continued to keep the place running without any power and had even served an extravagant breakfast. His aunt was so much more relaxed now she knew Greer wasn’t the mystery reviewer – although she was still concerned someone else might arrive.
He heard his name called and took in a long breath before making his way to the start. Someone tried to speak with him, but he shook his head. He was too churned up inside, too afraid of what was going to happen next to exchange small talk.
If this went wrong, his father’s debt was going to get bigger and he would lose Mairi. He had to do well…
He shut his eyes and remembered the last words Scott had said to him before skiing away with Jed. ‘“Anything’s possibleif you shut your eyes.”’ The lad had flashed him a wicked grin. ‘Those are your words too.’
