Page 61 of Christmas at the Scottish Lodge
‘She doesn’t want to see you,’ Kenna told Jed as he arrived at the hospital and frantically made his way to the waiting room where the flustered receptionist had directed him. ‘Quinn’s with her now.’
‘You don’t understand. I have to see her, to make sure she’s okay,’ Jed begged. ‘I know you don’t think much of me, but I’m desperate.’
Kenna’s glare turned less frosty, and she jerked her chin. ‘I can tell you that she’s doing fine, there’s no damage to her spine or neck. I haven’t seen her yet, but I know she’s come round.’ She tipped her head towards the door of the waiting room which led into the corridor and probably beyond that to wherever Mairi was now.
If Jed could just find her. Maybe he could explain. Although he had no idea what he’d say. ‘I love you and I’m an idiot’ seemed like a good start. He couldn’t tell her he’d changed his mind about being with her. His da was still up to his eyes in debt because of him, and now it was even worse because he’d just lost more money.
Jed had received a flurry of angry texts when he’d retrieved his mobile and car keys so he could drive to the hospital. Boyd had informed him that he’d screwed up royally. Again. And after his performance on the slopes today he wasn’t sure he’d ever make it back on the professional circuit.
He was a failure, and it would be so much better if Mairi walked away.
He could still recall the look on Quinn’s face when he heard they were married. His obvious disgust had confirmed all Jed’s greatest fears, and he doubted his friend would ever want to hear the full story – or if it would change anything if he did.
‘What did the doctor say?’ Jed asked, feeling jittery. He started to pace the room, fighting the rush of adrenaline. He couldn’t stay still. He needed to see Mairi now.
‘That she was okay, but they’re keeping her in for a while for observation,’ Kenna told him. ‘She has a mild case of concussion. They want to keep an eye on her for now. I offered to do it but…’
‘It should be me in there,’ Jed blurted, his voice tense. He turned to pace the room again, ignoring the ice picks stabbing his knee. ‘I have to see her.’ He’d work out what to say when he did.
‘She doesn’t want to see you,’ Kenna repeated, and Jed wondered if Mairi had been this devastated when she’d gone to the hospital to see him in February. He’d put her through so much, thinking he was doing the right thing. But this was torture.
‘I don’t know what you said to her after your accident.’ Kenna paused. ‘I’m not even sure I want to know. I will tell you that she loves you. Being away from you these last months has turned her inside out. She clung onto the idea of Harry, but he was a fantasy – he was never you.’ She sighed. ‘She needs love – it’s what she deserves. If she’s decided to walk away from you now, it’s because she’s finally had enough. I’m not going to tell her she’s wrong.’
‘You don’t pull your punches,’ Jed said, rocking back on his heels.
‘Do you expect me to?’ Kenna shot back. ‘I’ve hated you for months. As her agent and her friend. She’s behind with her book deadline – I told you that, but did you also know it’s possible she could lose her contract with her publisher because of you? She’s been so heartbroken she can’t write.’ She paused as Jed took in the full implications of that. ‘You might have ruined her career.’
‘I didn’t know,’ he said gruffly. Mairi hadn’t shared that with him. Then again, when had she had the chance? What else had she kept from him while he’d been trying to do the right thing?
He’d tried to keep Mairi away from his problems, tried to protect her – instead, he’d created more.
‘I probably shouldn’t have told you about the contract.’ Kenna pulled a face. ‘But…sometimes you need to see beyond your own world. Sometimes it’s important to understand how your actions affect everyone else.’
‘That’s all I ever think about.’ Jed sighed. ‘I thought I was protecting her,’ he muttered, wondering why when said aloud, it sounded so naive.
‘Then you’re an even bigger fool than I thought.’ Kenna sighed. ‘Which is why Mairi has to walk away from you.’ She turned her head towards the door and winced. ‘Hopefully, it won’t be long before she goes back to Edinburgh.’
As she said it, the door burst open, and Effie came bounding into the waiting room. ‘How’s the lass?’ she asked, scraping a hand over her dense hair. ‘I came as soon as I heard. The electricity’s back up and running at the lodge and Douggie said I could leave him to deal with everything else.’ She half smiled. ‘He’s promised he won’t touch the light show or anyone’s skis before I get back.’
‘What about Greer?’ Kenna asked.
‘Ach, she checked out, said she’d rather go home than stay with us for a moment longer.’ Effie pulled a face. ‘I’m relieved to be honest. She told me to tell you that she’s looking forward to hearing from you. She said she’s expecting a bidding war between publishers once you send out the manuscript.’
‘Oh boy.’ Kenna rolled her eyes.
‘How’s Mairi?’ Effie asked again, looking around.
‘She’s okay,’ Jed said tightly. ‘She’s just not taking visitors at the moment.’
‘Well, aside from Quinn,’ Kenna said. ‘I’m sure if she knew you were here, Effie, she’d like to see you too. It’s only Jed who isn’t welcome.’
Effie frowned and turned to look at him. ‘Ach, lass, why ever not?’
The door to the waiting room swung open again and Quinn strode in. His eyes instantly tracked to Kenna and Effie, then narrowed when he saw Jed.
‘She doesn’t want to see you,’ he said coldly.
‘I know, but I’m not leaving.’ Jed went to take a seat. ‘You can’t make me.’
