Page 28 of Christmas at the Scottish Lodge
She wriggled, trying to shake the powerful bolts of lust coursing through her limbs as the memory engulfed her. ‘Yes,’ she said hoarsely, ducking her head so he wouldn’t see the flush colouring her cheeks. Would he guess what she’d been thinking? ‘Did you just see Effie?’ She tipped her head towards the door of his aunt’s room.
‘Yep. I topped up her medicine.’ He frowned, his eyes boring into hers. ‘She’s not going to be better for a few days.’ He cleared his throat. ‘I know you’ve got your book to write and your—’ He swallowed. ‘He’swaiting for you to return to Edinburgh…’ He looked at her intently, his expression unhappy.
‘I’ll get to the book,’ she said. ‘And Harry will have to wait.’
Jed narrowed his eyes. ‘Harry.’ He rolled the name around his tongue as if he were trying to smother it.
Was he jealous? The thought came from nowhere and lifted her mood. Jed wasn’t dating anyone and he wasn’t happy about Harry. Did that mean?—
‘Where is everyone? I was promised interviews.’ Mairi flinched when Greer’s voice boomed from the ground floor. She must have cut her walk short. Probably so she could complain about the snow being too white…
Jed sneaked a look over the hallway banister and pulled a face. ‘She’s coming up the stairs,’ he whispered urgently. ‘Where can we go?’
Mairi shot back up the hallway and opened the door of the bedroom that had been allocated to the honeymooners arriving tomorrow. ‘In here. I’m supposed to be putting fresh sheets onthe bed, so we have an excuse if she finds us.’ She ducked into the large room and looked around. Effie had stripped the bed earlier and this had been next on her to-do list.
Jed shut the door and leaned against it looking relieved and Mairi felt her stomach leap. They hadn’t been alone together in a bedroom since…
She cleared her throat as the oxygen seemed to dry up, and she put the bedding on a pretty patterned chair beside the large picture window, her hands trembling. She could see it was snowing outside and when she turned, Jed was staring – only she couldn’t tell if it was at her or the mountains.
‘You wish you were out there teaching?’ she asked, grabbing the bottom sheet so she could spread it over the mattress because she needed to do something with her hands. The bed was queen-sized with a pretty white wooden headboard and there were matching bedside tables with blue lamps on either side.
‘Not really,’ Jed said and then paused, as if he were surprised that he’d admitted it. ‘I mean, I like teaching, but being out there hasn’t been the same since the accident.’ His face darkened.
‘Because skiing is uncomfortable for you?’ she guessed, smoothing the creases on the sheet. Trying not to focus on the wide, open space between them – or think about how it had felt when they’d been tangled together, naked and beaded with sweat. They’d been honeymooners once. It felt like a lifetime ago.
Jed swallowed as if he were thinking the same thing. The slight imprint of his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat making Mairi remember how it had felt to run her tongue down his neck. He’d tasted so good – of salt and snow. She’d never realised that snow had a flavour – or that she was addicted to it – until she’d kissed him.
The first time had been when she’d gone to see him in Vegas. Until that point, she’d tried to hide her crush – he was Quinn’s best friend and he wasn’t interested in her. Any long looks she’d caught him giving her hadn’t meant anything. But then they’d been alone and suddenly all the feelings they’d both kept hidden had spilled out…
‘Not anymore.’ Jed abruptly grabbed the other side of the sheet and pulled it into place, then worked with her as she tucked it in. The action was so domestic, so…well, it was the type of thing she’d dreamed of doing with him when they’d married. Simple household chores, that would have meant so much more because they were doing them together. Only – her stomach squeezed – they’d never had the chance.
‘Why aren’t you competing then?’ she blurted. She’d never understood why Jed had gone back to Holly Berry Lodge after his long stint in the hospital. She knew from Quinn that his collarbone and knee ligament had healed, and she had expected him to get straight back on the slopes. When he hadn’t, she’d wondered if it had had something to do with her. Although how could it?
‘I’ve got my reasons,’ Jed rasped, avoiding her eyes.
Irritated, she turned and grabbed a pillow before hurling it at him, hitting him mid-chest.
‘What was that for?’ His expression was part shocked and part annoyed like he couldn’t decide how he was supposed to react.
‘So you can put this on.’ She held out a white pillowcase, trying her best to look innocent.
His forehead creased. ‘You’ve changed,’ he muttered as he took the case and put it on.
‘You mean I’m no longer following you around like a snow groupie, doing everything you ask? Like living far, far away inEdinburgh while you get to pretend I don’t exist?’ she said, the anger spewing out of her, surprising them both.
Jed’s eyes widened and he put the pillow on the bed and folded his arms. ‘That’s not what happened,’ he said, but his eyes dropped from hers and his full lips slid into a frown.
‘Isn’t it?’ She had to work hard not to yell, but the words snapped out like twigs breaking under heavy boots.
She’d held onto her feelings for so many months. Had waited for Jed to email her. Waited for him to tell her he didn’t blame her for the accident and was either over his resentment or ready to explain how he felt. Only he hadn’t – and she’d begun to accept that his dad was right and he did blame her. That he didn’t want her, that whatever love she felt wasn’t reciprocated.
She was used to it, after all. She’d lost everyone she’d loved, aside from Quinn. Rather than holding on, she’d decided to move on…
Then she’d come to Holly Berry Lodge, expecting Jed to jump at a divorce, only for him to tell her he didn’t want one. That he wasn’t particularly happy about her dating Harry.
‘I thought—’ His eyes slid up to hers, a turbulent blue swirl of confusion. ‘I thought you were moving on. I thought you were fine,’ he said. ‘You have your books, you’re successful – which is more than I am.’
He moved his arms to his sides as if he couldn’t decide where they fitted. He looked uncomfortable in his skin – she’d never seen him look so awkward or unhappy. Her heart went out to him, but she had to steel herself from doing something stupid. ‘And you’ve got a new boyfriend.’ His eyes glittered. ‘At least you want him to be.’
