Page 132 of Going Viral for Christmas
But I don’t want control. I want tolosecontrol. With him.Tonight.Foronenight.
Pushing pride aside, I grab my phone and pull up his contact. He answers on the first ring.
“Okay, so maybe pancakes are better as a post-date snack.” My voice wobbled at the end, and I hope he didn’t notice.
There’s a pause that’s full of breath and heartbeat.
I cradle my phone against my ear, staring at the half-finished puzzle on the table. “Soren, I know I do aphenomenaljob of keeping you out. Award-winning. Tall walls. Strategic misdirection. Chains around my chest.”
Silence.
My eyes close, but I push forward before I lose my nerve. “I really need you to storm through one of those walls right now before I chicken out and go back to pushing you away.” I laugh awkwardly. “For tonight anyway. And I don’t want to pretend I don’t care when I do.” My voice drops, shaky and small. I’m now entering rambling territory. “I don’t know where this goes, and I’m scared. But I know I want to spend more time with you. I don’t want the night to end yet.” I chew on my lip, nerves kicking up again. “So. Um. You want to come back? We could watch a movie. Keep the night going. No expectations, just time…together.”
Silence continues to fill the space.
Starting to panic, I add, “I have popcorn. And wine.And a decent couch-to-lap ratio. And I’m…reallyputting myself out there right now, so if you’re about to tell me no, can you at least pretend to think about it first?”
More silence. I hold my breath. He’s thinking, which is torture.
“Only if I get to pick the snacks. And you don’t judge me for my pajama pants. I’m already halfway to my hotel and halfway into them.”
Exhaling, I grin. “Deal. But I’m picking the movie.”
“You got it, Bells.”
About an hour later, Soren’s at my door in fire-breathing dragon PJ pants, a black long-sleeve thermal, holding a paper bag from the bodega in town that smells like buttered popcorn, and several other bags I’m assuming are filled with candy and snacks.
“You came back.”
“Of course I did, you tempted me with cinema.”
“Well then.” I make a grand sweeping gesture toward the couch. “Prepare to be disappointed.”
“Bells, you could play the director’s cut ofPaint Drying: The Trilogyand I’d still call it the best night of my week.”
Forget butterflies. A tornado touched down in my gut, and debris is flying everywhere.
Breathe, Ava.
“Did I wander into a snow globe on acid?” In the living room, Soren has slowed to a stop. His gaze sweeps over the twinkle lights strung along every surface, the five holiday-themed candles I typically burn simultaneously, and the cluster of nutcrackers on the bookshelf that look as though they’re plotting a violent undertaking until finally landing on the disco-ball reindeer above the fireplace.
Soren laughs and spins around slowly, taking it all in again. “This is… a lot of Christmas.”
“Don’t judge me. I’ve been avoiding deadlines and nesting like a feral raccoon with a Michaels gift card.” I fluff a throw blanket that saysSleigh All Dayin an aggressive glitter font. “This is a totally normal level of holly jolly.”
“Remind me to bring sunglasses next time. It’s blinding in here.” His eyes narrow in on my couch and look at it like it’s the mostconfusing thing he’s ever seen. And then—oh God—he spots the throw pillows.
Thosethrow pillows.
Cartoon candy canes in, um… compromising positions. One is clearly being spanked. The other is tied up with tinsel. I’m not emotionally stable enough to unpack their origin–which I’m pretty certain happened the night I was two bottles deep in Cabernet–let alone their current placement on my couch.
Soren tilts his head, assessing.
“Yes, they’re doing what you think they’re doing.” Lunging across the room, I suddenly become a defensive lineman and snatch them both up. “You weren’t supposed toseethose. Nobody visits me. They’re for fun.”
“Fun, huh? Looks more like a metaphor for how Ava Bell likes it—decorative on the outside, filthy on the inside.”
I toss one of the naughty pillows at him. He catches it, then I head into the kitchen to pop some popcorn.
