Page 176 of Going Viral for Christmas
He doesn’t react.
I hate him for that.
I hate him for being so still when I’mcoming apart.
But, I think I love him too.
My voice shakes. “Do you know what it’s like to be waiting for the good thing to end constantly? The clock ticks on every soft moment. That’s what I do, Soren. That’s what I’velearned.”
“I know,” he says quietly. “I see it. Every time you pull away. Every time you make a joke instead of admitting you’re scared. Every time you flinch when things between us are right.”
“I’m not flinching,” I breathe. “I’m drowning.”
It’s true. The panic is closing in. My knees buckle before I can stop them, and I collapse to the floor. My body can’t carry the fear anymore.
I cover my face as though that’ll somehow hide the tears. Hide the fact that I’m breaking.
“I’m sorry,” I choke. “I’m sorry I’m like this. But, please, I need you to know that you make me feel things.”
“What kinds of things, Bells?”
“You make me feel like a fairytale and a firestorm.”
Suddenly, Soren’s on the floor too, sliding in behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, securing us together
One hand slides up my back. He’s offering a heartbeat I can borrow, and he’s willing to keep rhythm for both of us until I can remember how.
“I’m not leaving,” he whispers into my hair.
That’s when the final layer—years in the making, brick by trembling brick—shatters.
I curl into him, sobbing into his chest like it’s the first breath I’ve had in days. He holds me through it, quiet and constant, as though he knew this was coming all along.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I whisper.
“You don’t have to,” he says. “You just have to stay… with me”
My fingers grip his legs. And for the first time in my entire life, I let someone hold me in the middle of the storm—and I don’t try to run.
Because he’s right. Idoget this kind of story. And maybe this time, I don’t have to write the ending alone.
Soren’s arms are still around me when the sobs fade into silence. My cheek rests against his chest, damp with tears. His heart thumps beneath my ear, and for once, I don’t need to armor up to match it.
I just breathe.
I’msafe.
I shift in his lap, my hand sliding up to cup his jaw. His eyes meet mine. My heart melts at the devotion I see. The patience. The love.
“Soren,” I whisper.
His thumb brushes across my cheek. “Yeah, Bells?”
“Take off your clothes.”
A brow lifts.
“I mean it,” I say. “I want to feel like I haven’t lost control.”
