Page 12 of Dirty Martini
So now I’m supposed to be his BFF? Talk about the girls we like while bonding over sports? I’m supposed to be there for the person who’s never even apologized for what he did to me?
“Rhys. Please.”
I’ve never been able to say no to Elton. Fuck my damn loyalty. Not knowing whether I’m lying, I nod. “Yeah. I’ll be there for him.”
I’m doing this for Elton. That’s it. I’ll try to be cordial—albeit cold and aloof—but polite. I’ll do the bare minimum, but I’ll keep my promise to my best friend, because this means everything to him.
Elton visibly sighs in relief, shoulders sagging as he slaps a hand on his chest. “Thank God. You have no idea how much better I feel knowing you’re going to take care of him.”
“Only until you come back,” I insist. “Once you’re back, my babysitting duties are done.”
He nods. “Deal.”
I rub a hand down my face as Elton gives my shoulder a pat, then he’s heading over to the passenger’s side. I give myself a few seconds as the realization of what just happened digests.
What the fuck have I just agreed to?
CHAPTER FOUR
Everest
“So, how’s it going?”
A more difficult question has never been asked.
My hands pause in the middle of unzipping my suitcase, my back tense as Elton’s stare drills into me. It makes me wonder exactly what he’s asking. Is he wondering how the unpacking is going? How my life is going? I don’t think anyone’s ever over-thought a question as simple as his. But here I am, unsure how to answer.
“Good,” I finally say, then continue unzipping my suitcase. I start to unpack my clothes, but the silence I’m greeted with makes me pause again. Elton is many things, but silent isn’t one of them. I turn around, seeing that he hasn’t broken his stare. “What?”
“That’s it?” he asks, raising a curious eyebrow at me. “Good? Are you still friends with Hunter and Kaden? What do you like to do in your free time? Do you have a girlfriend? Come on, bro. Give me something.”
Hunter and Kaden used to be friends of mine, but I haven’t hung out with them in ages. I don’t really have any friends besides Knox nowadays, but there’s no way for Elton to know that. Everyone else is just… I don’t know how to describe it.Talking to people I don’t know, trying to socialize, attempting to prove my worth, it’s all just too much. It makes my skin clammy even thinking about hanging out with those guys again. I can’t tell Elton that, though, so I just smile. “The guys are good.”
“And the girlfriend part?” he pushes, getting up to unpack one of the cardboard boxes by the door. “You have a special lady who’s going to be coming around?”
I chuckle dryly at that. Honestly, when you think about it, it’s kind of pathetic how little he knows about me. Still my laugh is forced, awkward and robotic, like I haven’t made that noise in so long my throat has forgotten how to formulate the sound. “I’m actually not attracted to women.”
He freezes and lifts his head. I know my brother doesn’t have a homophobic bone in his body. I can tell he’s shocked, but I’m certain it’s just over the fact he didn’t know. “That’s cool. So, you got a special guy, then?”
I flush and shake my head. Yeah, I’m definitely not telling Elton about my fuck-buddy-ish relationship with his former dealer turned irrational irritation.
My mouth feels dry as I try to form words, just wishing for Elton to get out. Get out and leave me alone so I can crawl under the covers. Do something so I don’t have to listen to the thoughts in my head that get so loud sometimes, so unnerving. When I see the expectant and hopeful look on his face, I cave.
I can do this. I don’t want to be weak and cowardly. He’s my brother and I should be able to have a normal conversation with him without feeling like I’m about to throw up. “No. No boyfriend.”
“Not interested?” he questions, removing my sneakers from the box. “You know us Hill men are heartbreakers. Do you have to fight them off you?”
I shake my head again. “Um, no.”
His face falls and I realize I’ve failed. I can’t even have a simple conversation with him. All I do is disappoint people—my parents who just wanted an Ivy League school for me, my brother who just wants my love, Rhys who just wanted a future—and I wish the world would swallow me alive.
“Do you want to hear about Spain?” he questions, setting down my sneakers and moving on to the next box filled with books. “It’s a really cool program. You know they only accepted two candidates? I didn’t think I would get it, so I was shocked as shit when I got the letter. Isn’t that crazy?”
“The craziest,” I mumble, turning to hang the shirts in the closet.
“Yeah, and it’s going to be awesome! We get our choice of accommodations. We’re basically just going to be running errands for the suits while we’re there, working almost every hour of the day, but it’sSpain. Have you ever seen pictures of Valencia?”
I shake my head, trying to picture a beautiful Spanish coast, but my mind can’t seem to conjure up any images. “No.”
