Page 62 of Dirty Martini
When he looks at me like that—so full of understanding—with a want to get to know me, I can’t resist. Rhys was always my safe space growing up, and if I want him to be that again, I know that I have to open up.
“It’s not good,” I rush out, my face hot with embarrassment. “I thought I could handle the class load this summer, but it’s really hard. I’m struggling to keep my grades up and some of the material just doesn’t make sense. I know I’m stupid?—”
“You’re not stupid,” he snaps.
“But that’s what you said.”
His teeth bite down on his bottom lip, and he looks regretful. The way his brow furrows and the subtle fall of his face tell me that my words hurt him. But his words hurt me too.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, meaning it, almost like he wants to reach out to me, but stopping himself. “All those things I said?—”
“They’re true,” I chuckle weakly. “I’m everything you said. Privileged, self-centered, stupid. I need validation because…”
He raises an eyebrow when I trail off and his hand comes to rest on my side. “Because?”
“Because I’m so afraid I’m not good enough.”
Not smart enough. Not talented enough. Not as great as Elton. Second best. Only special because of the one sport I can no longer play.
“Baby…” he mumbles, finally dragging me into his arms. “None of that is true.”
A tear slips down my cheek as I bury my face in his chest. “It is.”
“No,” he growls. Rubbing the back of my head, he presses a lingering kiss on my forehead. “You don’t have to feel that way anymore, Ev. I’m here now and I got you.”
And I breathe those words in, ingraining them into my memory, clinging to them.
Because I hope that’s true.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Rhys
I lean backagainst the bar.
It’s slow for a Tuesday night at XO, but I’m not complaining. Instead of serving customers and busting my ass, I’m given the perfect opportunity to watch my baby tease the fuck out of me on the dance floor.
The hurricane came and went, leaving Miami with minimal damage. With the passing of the storm, the relationship Everest and I had has been swept away as well. We weren’t trapped very long, but with his classes canceled for the week, and Davis closing XO for a few days, we were able to spend all our time together. Because of that, the list of things that endear me to him has grown to be a mile long.
I love his laugh. The way he lets out a nasally snort when he thinks something is too hilarious. He’s considerate too, always asking about my preferences and wishes, whether it’s about dinner or what movie we’re going to watch. When he listens, helistens, like nothing else exists besides me. He can be sweet and shy, but turns on that confident slutty monster when we sleep together. More and more now, Everest is growing to be someone I wouldn’t mind spending all my time with.
One thing I’ve resolved myself to do is to knock out every single one of his insecurities. I can’t describe the way I ached when he said all that terrible shit about himself. It hurt almost as much as knowing that he might believe it just becauseI’vesaid it. It might take time, but I think we’ll have more than enough, at least if I have anything to say about it.
I turn my attention back to the man on the dance floor. Everest rolls his hips, his hands in the air as the neon strobe lights bounce off his muscular arms. There’s sweat on his chest, glistening and begging for my tongue. When he catches my eyes, he runs his hands up his thighs, licking his lips as he winks at me. That little fucker is asking for a spanking once we get home. Well, right after I fuck the sense out of him.
“Everest here alone tonight?” Britt asks, suddenly appearing beside me. She’s got a shit-eating grin on her face, but I’m too worked up watching Everest to care.
“He better fucking be,” I say, not bothering to hide my obvious irritation at the thought of him coming with someone else. Sue me for being possessive of someone as hot and amazing as him. He wasn’t originally going to go out tonight, but all I had to do was promise to fuck him in my Superman glasses for him to give in.
“So, Skylar was right?—”
“Skylar was right about what?”
Almost as if out of thin air, the green-haired tiny terror pops upliterallybetween the two of us. “Where did you come from?”
“No, no, no,” he sings, waving a freshly manicured finger at me. “We’re not changing the subject. Are you and Everest boning now? IsRheveresta thing?”
I hesitate for a moment to consider my next move, and it’s not because of fuckingRheverest. I’m not too sure how to define what Everest and I are yet. I don’t want to rush into labels that can scare both of us off. What we have now is growingto be great, something enjoyable and real. Definitely friends, but more… Still, there’s an itch—aneed—to make one thing exceedingly clear.
