Page 80 of Dirty Martini
His face falls, eyes averting to his lap as he picks at a loose thread on his tank top. “I know.”
“I’m not trying to guilt trip you.” Tipping his chin up to look at me, I want him to know I mean it. “I just think that it’s important that you two have a healthy relationship, but it’s at your own pace. If you’re not ready…”
“I don’t think I am,” he admits, shrugging one shoulder. “But I called a therapist.”
I gasp. “You what?”
“Yesterday,” he tells me, cheeks reddening a bit, almost like he’s embarrassed to admit it. “I made an appointment for next week.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I don’t know. It just felt like something I needed to do on my own. You might be right about me having anxiety or you might not, but it wouldn’t hurt to talk to someone about what’s been going on.”
I know this must have been tremendously hard for him to do. Taking that first step always is. I don’t personally have any experience with mental health issues that I know of, but I can empathize with his situation.
“I’m proud of you, baby,” I whisper, pecking his lips. “You’re so strong.”
“You’re not mad I didn’t say anything?” he questions, nervously nibbling his bottom lip.
“Not at all. It’s your journey. I’m just along for the ride as long as you let me.”
And I hope he lets me for as long as possible. I hope he keeps me the way I want to keep him. I wish with everything that I’ll never have to know a life without him. Without his sweetness, his passion, and his vulnerability.
He bats his eyelashes like a tease, and the mood lightens with his playfulness. “Mmm, you’ve grown on me. Maybe I’ll keep you.”
“You just love being a brat, don’t you?” I growl, nipping at his neck roughly, which causes him to burst into laughter.
“Y-You love that a-about me,” he stutters through a laugh.
Oh, fuck yes.
Once again, the love I have for him strikes me, but it’s not the right time. I don’t know if it’ll be soon, but I’ll recognize the moment when it’s here. For now, I settle with kissing him onceagain, inhaling his intoxicating sweetness, knowing this man is mine. “Yeah, I do.”
He breaks apart and licks his lips. His eyes are wide and glossy with nerves, but there’s a sort of hopeful youth in them that makes my heart sing. “Rhys, I need to tell you something. I?—”
My phone rings, cutting off what he was about to say. I pull it out of my pocket and the reminder of what we’re doing sinks in. “Shit, it’s Elt. We should probably head over to the pick-up lane.” I cock my head, brushing my thumb against his bottom lip. “What were you going to say?”
“Nothing,” he says quickly, his neck now red too. He turns away and gestures to the steering wheel. “Let’s go.”
I take a deep breath as I shift the car into drive. “You ready?”
“Yeah, I think so.” He doesn’t sound all too confident, but the mask he wears is convincing enough. But then he smiles like I’ve just given him the world, fucking heart eyes to the max that make me want to beat my chest with pride. “I have you, don’t I?”
“Of course, Ev.”I’ll love you forever.“Always.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Everest
The time has come,and I swear I’m about to throw up.
It doesn’t help that it’s hot as fuck, the sticky humidity clinging to my skin, making me sweat through my tank top. We’re waiting for Elton at the pick-up lane, the crowd of people making me somehow feel claustrophobic out in the open air. Jesus, what if the sweat starts to make me smell? I mean, Rhys likes messing around after I work out, but?—
“You need to calm down.”
I glance at Rhys, who’s leaning against the hood of my car with his muscular arms crossed, looking like an entire snack and a half, while also appearing impossibly relaxed. “Don’t tell me to calm down.”
“Don’t be a brat. You know what I mean. You look guilty as hell.”
