Page 54 of Dirty Martini
“Don’t be a prick. There’s a fucking hurricane coming,” I snarl, even though I’m not too sure why I sound so angry when I feel the exact opposite. He doesn’t take the bait and simply stares at me blankly, almost apathetic, before trying to walk around me. I panic once again and reach for him. “Where do you think you’re going?”
He inhales a deep breath, hanging his head. When he raises his eyes, they don’t meet mine. They’re big and watery, his jaw clenched and his cheeks red, as if he’s?—
“Baby, have you been crying?”
I don’t know what possesses me to ask that. I also don’t know why the wordbabycrossed my lips so easily as anything but a taunt, but one look at those big green eyes shimmering with tears shatters the last of my will. Everest is no longer the fucker who taunted me about my life, pointed out my failures, and broke my future. He’s just Everest, the little kid who could do no wrong, who always managed to soften me in a way no one ever has before.
“Talk to me,” I say quietly, cupping his cheeks when tears start to fall. “Fuck, what happened?”
“I-It’s not-thing,” he stutters. Wiping his nose, he tries to move around me. “F-Fucking let m-me go, Rhys.”
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong,” I snap as a different kind of panic consumes me. Then a thought hits me. “Was it Knox? I’m going to fucking kill him?—”
“Oh, quit it!” he yells, slapping my hands away. “For the last time, he’sjust a friend!”
“Then what is it?”
“Rhys, let it go!”
“Fucking tell me what’s wrong!”
“I failed!” he screams, throwing his hands up in the air, tears now freely falling. He sucks in a sharp breath, almost crumbling in on himself. “I… I failed, okay?”
Torn between taking his trembling body in my arms and giving him some space, I raise an eyebrow. “Failed what?”
He sniffles as he slips his backpack off his shoulder, opening it and rifling through until he pulls out a thick packet. His eyes stay glued to the floor as he shoves it in my hands, embarrassment heating his cheeks. I take it slowly, smoothing the edges out until I see the prominent ‘F’ stamped on the front. “Is this your biology test?”
He nods, still sniffling as he stares at his feet. “I… I thought I was going to do well and—fuck—you were right. I’m so stupid.”
“Hey, I didn’t say that,” I try to say softly, but it comes out as more of a snarl.
His head snaps up as his red-rimmed eyes lock onto mine. “Yes, you did.”
“I—” But there’s no argument I can make. I was already doubting the shit I said to him, thinking that maybe I went too far, and this just proves I did. “I’m sorry.”
“Right,” he snorts. With a shake of his head, he snatches the packet out of my hand. “This is exactly what you wanted.”
I rear my head back just as he pushes past me. “Wait, what?”
“Oh, cut the shit,” he snaps, turning on his heels and looking down at me from his step on the stairs. “Fucking with me,fuckingme, it’s just been a way for you to get in my head. Did you get what you wanted, Rhys? Are you happy now? I’m going to fail this class and prove how pathetic I am.”
“Everest,” I say through gritted teeth, blood boiling as he ignores me and continues to his room. “Don’t walk away from me.”
“Why?” he yells over his shoulder. “Want to gloat?”
“Hey!” I bark, snagging him by his elbow just before he can march into his room. Spinning him around, I press him against the wall next to his door and brace my forehead against his. My chest heaves, breaths coming out in harsh puffs as I try to get a handle on what I want to say.
Because it’s all such a confusing contradiction.
I used to have no problem with the idea of him floundering or suffering because he deserved every bit of it, but now? Seeing it in front of me changes that. I’m too soft for him to fight the fact that I just want to take care of him the way I used to.
“I’m sorry,” I finally say, brushing my thumb against his cheek, catching a tear as he tries to tear himself away. “I mean it, Ev. I’m sorry the test didn’t go well.”
He doesn’t look like he believes me, still trying to fight against my hold, but something within him must cave to the affection because he sighs as his eyes drift shut. “I’m in way over my head, Rhys. I’m not smart like you or Elton. I’m just…”
“Just what?”
He opens and closes his mouth, but decides to stay silent. That’s okay. While I want to hear what he has to say, I’ll take this. Feeling him relax against me and give in to the comfort is enough. It soothes a part of me I didn’t realize was craving it. It’s different from the way I craved winning the fucked-up game we started, and different from the way I craved some sort of revenge to rain upon him. I’m still hesitant and wary, but that doesn’t seem to matter.
