Page 70 of French 75
Turning back to the crowd, he clears his throat. “Look. Many people go through life without a best friend. They go through life alone. Elton…” He smiles to himself, clicking his tongue as he shakes his head fondly. “I’m lucky enough that I’m married to my best friend. The love of my life. I can’t imagine a life without that. There’s nothing better than being married to your favorite person and sharing a life with them.”
I suck in a sharp breath, just as Skylar rests his head on my shoulder. I know Knox isn’t subtle enough to be trying to tell me something, which only makes this worse. His words strike me, even though they’re so innocent. The weight of Skylar on me now seems a bit suffocating. Not in a way that makes it hard to breathe, but like I’m being dragged down, a lead weight on my shoulders plummeting me to the depths of the ocean.
What would it be like to be married to my best friend?
Will we ever get there?
I was so sure this plan to woo Skylar by showing himI’mthe perfect boyfriend was fool proof. Now…I don’t know. It’s been weeks, nearing two months, and we haven’t gotten any closer to my end goal. Sure, we fuck around all the time, but that’s not the same. What I want with him isn’t just a quick way to get off. I want alife. I want the romance. I want a future where we’re together. The happily ever after.
And it’s starting to look like that might not happen.
“So, sweetheart.” Knox continues, accepting a passing champagne flute. “Here’s to forever with you.”
The crowd erupts in a round of applause, with even Davis robotically clapping in the corner. Elton can barely contain himself as he launches himself at Knox, nearly knocking him over as he smashes their lips together. It’s so cute that even Rhys’s eyes soften as he reaches for Everest’s hand so he can rub the engagement ring on his finger.
“Isn’t that just the sweetest?” Skylar coos as he rubs a hand up and down my thigh. “So cute.”
I nod through a gulp. “Yeah.”
But my mind is anywhere but here. It’s still hyper focusing on Knox’s speech as the party picks up. There’s killer food and free booze, but I’m fixated. Not even Skylar’s adorable pleading to dance can knock me out of it. He ends up grabbing Max’s hand to drag him to the center of the garden, whereno oneis dancing. That doesn’t stop them, though.
“Where are you going?” Rhys asks as I stand, cocking an eyebrow at my stance. “You good, man?”
“Yeah, I’m chill,” I say, but I’m the exact opposite. I clear my throat and shrug. “Just gotta piss.”
Everest smiles warmly and nods. “Okay. Rhys and I are probably going to head out soon. If we don’t see you, I hope you have a good night.”
I give him a clipped nod and basically stumble away from the table. I’m not too sure where my feet are taking me as I near the edge of the garden. All I know is that I just need a minute of fucking peace. Just a moment of reprieve. I need to think, or not think, or?—
“Fuck!”
“Jesus Christ!” Knox growls, yanking up his pants just as Elton pops off his dick. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“In the garden? Right next to the party?” I ask, my voice coming out two octaves too high. I slap my hand over my eyes when Knox doesn’t immediately tuck himself in. Did I see a fuckingpiercing? “Sorry, I just needed some air.”
“In the garden?”
Okay, touché.
There’s shuffling on the other side of my hand, then a few hushed whispers before Knox clears his throat. “You can uncover your eyes.”
I’m hesitant to do so—practically scarred for life—but I do slowly. Elton isn’t here anymore, leaving just Knox and I hanging out behind a huge rose bush that obscures us from the rest of the party. I chuckle weakly and scratch the back of my head. “So, he must have really liked your speech.”
He doesn’t even crack a smile. Reaching into his back pocket, he produces a pack of cigarettes. He takes one out and avoids my eyes as he tips the pack at me. “Want to bum one?”
I nod and take one. I still don’t smoke that often, but taking the edge off does sound nice. He lights his first, then hands me the lighter, and it’s hard to miss the tension in the air.
We still haven’t spoken since I was a complete dick to him. We’ve been avoiding each other—or he’s been avoiding me—so I guess we’re still technically fighting. Although, I did try to apologize, I can see why it’s going to take another shot. I suck in a sharp breath, realizing that it’s time to try again. “Hey, man. You know I didn’t mean?—”
“I know,” he says quickly, taking a deep drag and exhaling through his nose. “Doesn’t mean it wasn’t a dick move.”
“Not my brightest moment,” I admit, letting the nicotine burn my nerves as the smoke enters my lungs. “But I really am sorry.”
He shrugs. “It is what it is.”
“No, I mean it, Knox.” I insist. Taking a step forward, I place my free hand on his shoulder. “You were trying to do the right thing, and I lashed out at you. I shouldn’t have brought your relationship with Elton into it.”
He finally looks up, and his eyes soften just a bit. Sighing, he gives me a crooked smile. “Thanks. It really did fucking suck. I’ve done nothing but prove every day how much I love that guy.”
