Page 71 of French 75
“And you do. You’re an amazing husband.”
“Thanks,” he says, and then chuckles under his breath. “Hate to admit, I’ve missed hanging out.”
“Me too.” I mean that honestly. Hanging out with Knox was a different kind of vibe I hadn’t experienced in friendship before. “So, we’re good?”
“Yeah. Why not?”
Taking his forgiveness, I can’t help but tease him a bit. “That was a nice speech, man.”
He snorts and flips me off. “Fuck you.”
“I mean it.” I chuckle. “So sweet and tender.”
“Enough,” he growls, but there’s a hint of humor laced in it. He sighs again, leaning against the outside of the house, and chews on the inside of his cheek. “So, it really was good?”
I nod. “Yeah. Got me thinking.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “About?”
About my future. About the love of my life. About the fact that I’m chasing an impossible dream.
“Just stuff,” I say with a shrug.
“Right. Because that’s not a load of bullshit.” He scoffs.
I shift on my heels and bite down hard on my bottom lip. “You really are married to your best friend.”
He throws me a questioning look, but nods. “Yeah.”
“And that’s awesome?”
“You just saw my husband going down on me two feet away from Miami’s richest pricks. What do you think?”
I have to chuckle at that, but it’s strained. Knox must sense the war within me. The words that I can’t and won’t say. He bumps his shoulder against mine and exhales deeply. “Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah,” I say, my brow furrowing. “What’s up?”
“When I thought I was going to lose Elton, it was like my life was flashing before my eyes.” He grimaces at the memory. “I love him so fucking much. It’s like every single moment we spent together was flying right by me. I realized that if I didn’t do something and grab them, that they’d disappear.”
“Right…” I mumble.
He stares at me for a beat, and when I say nothing, he rolls his eyes. “God, I forgot people are fucking idiots.” Releasing an exasperated breath, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “What I’m saying is that sometimes just letting it pass by isn’t enough. You have todosomething. You feel me?”
I start to piece it together, kind of feeling like an idiot that I didn’t sooner. It’s obvious now that he’s talking about Skylar and me. The thing is, we’re not Knox and Elton. We’ve been through shit they haven’t. We have a history together that dictates the way our futures are laid out. It’s not as neat and pretty as fuck buddies to lovers. There’re layers to peel back, mazes to walk through, and it needs a delicate hand.
But still…
“Was that scary as shit?” I ask, staring at my feet as I kick a small pebble away, refusing to look at him.
He huffs beside me. “Yeah, but I guess you have to decide if it’s worth the risk.”
To that, my breath hitches. I want Skylar more than anything, but do I want him enough to risk not having himat all? What happens if this plan doesn’t work out the way I want to, and he finds someone else? Can I just forget everything weshared? Can I move past it like nothing happened? Or, worse, what if I can’t and he rejects me?
I can’t. Not now. He’s not ready.I’mnot ready.
“Cassy!”
Both Knox and I turn to Skylar, who’s cringing as he steps into soggy mud. Immediately, my mood takes a turn. I smile widely, tossing my cigarette on the ground and walking up to him. He clings to my side as he frowns down at his shoes. “What are you two doing here?”
