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A knife splits my stomach from root to tip.I’m the one. I want to scream it. To beg him to love me the way I love him. But I have to bide my time. He’ll be mine. He’ll choose me. Skylar doesn’t do well when pushed, so I’ll wait.
I’ll let him take and take from me until I’m stripped bare, and I’ll come back every time for more. But I don’t blame him because he doesn’t understand what he’s doing to me. I know everything about him. Every fear and every insecurity and every tell.
“There’s”—a kiss to the corner of his jaw—“nothing”—my lips land on his cheek—“wrong with you.”
I do what I do every time he needs me. Even though it kills me. Even though it fills me with false hope. Even though it costs a bit of my heart every time.
I smash my lips against his and let him fucking take.
Take and take and take.
Because I’ll give him all of me until there’s nothing left, and even then, I’ll find bottomless depths for him.
My sunshine.
CHAPTER ONE
Skylar
I wake up with a groan,my head foggy as I blink my eyes open.
Pressing my hand against the side of my pounding head, I smack my dry lips together. Oh God, I’m hungover. Even though Cassius told me to only have one drink, I must have gotten a bit too trigger happy after Rhys proposed to Everest. Hopefully, Davis isn’t too mad at me for calling out of work last night.
I roll over onto my stomach, blindly reaching for my stuffed shark. Tucking it under my chin, I allow myself to feel like crap. Not only because of the various fruity vodkas I downed, but also because I’m single.
Again.
I can’t help it. I start to cry. What’s so wrong with me that every guy I date dumps me? I really thought Jimmy was special. He was kind to me most of the time and usually texted back quickly. I mean, he did spend a lot of time at night babysitting his aunt’s cat, but that wasn’t a deal breaker!
Wondering what I did wrong, I sob into my shark. Cassius says that I’m perfect, and that Jimmy was just an asshole, but they can’t all be assholes, right? At a certain point, if they all keep leaving, thenI’mthe problem. Me. I get too excitedand hyper. I can’t always focus. Sometimes I need a lot of reassurance, but doesn’t everyone? I guess maybe my constant need for praise and affection can get annoying…
My arms start to itch. I bite my bottom lip, resisting the urge to scratch until the raised scars on my arms burn.
I’m just solonely.
I want to find the one for me. Rhys and Everest are the perfect couple. Even Knox and Elton have found their soulmates. At what point is it going to be my turn?
Because no one wants you.
Because you’re pathetic.
Because freaks don’t find love.
I whimper and jump out of bed. No. The scary thoughts are going to have to chill because I can’t deal. Knowing the one person who can make them go away, I rush out of my room. I realize Cassius is in the shower when his bed is empty, and I head that way. A puff of steam leaves the bathroom when I open the door, and I shut it right away so he doesn’t feel the chill of the AC. Without thinking, and only needing to be close to him, I strip quickly. I toss my clothes over my shoulder and yank the shower curtain open, revealing my best friend in all his naked glory.
Halfway through shampooing his hair, his eyes snap open, and he curses when some gets in his eyes. “Sunshine, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say as I step into the tub. “I just missed you.”
He scrubs the rest of the shampoo off his face and smiles.That’sthe smile that fights the monsters. Without needing to say anything, he brings me into his arms and drags me under the spray. I melt against him, taking in all his warmth and reassurance.
“How are you feeling?” he asks as he squirts some shampoo onto my head. “I thought you’d sleep in more after how much you drank last night.”
Please, I wish I could have. Shutting my eyes and moaning, I shrug. “Fine.”
He hums under his breath, and I have to snicker. Cassius isn’t much of a talker, preferring to guard quietly from the shadows, but he has a little tell. His hums and grunts are a language that only I know, and I fully understand that he doesn’t believe me.
“Sunshine…” he warns as he starts rinsing my hair.
