“Well, I feel the same. For what it’s worth.”
A lot. It’s worth a lot.
And it makes me nervous.
We order food. Jax gets carne asada fajitas and I get bang bang shrimp tacos with a side of elote. Meanwhile, the conversation flows as freely as the next round of cocktails.
“I say we play twenty questions,” he says, grabbing a fresh chip as the waitress sets a new basket down.
“I think that’s going against the rules.”
“We didn’t say we can’t get to know each other. We just said no past information. What brought us here, things like that.”
“What brought me here was my best friend forcing me to sign up for the First Pick app,” I mutter and then bite my lips. A smile crawls across Jax’s lips. “Oops.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I was kind of forced to be here too,” he holds up a hand. A very large hand. “Not that I didn’t want to be. I just have these…advisors…who thought it was a good idea for me to go out tonight, even though I wasn’t in a very good mood.”
“Advisors, huh?” I ask as our food arrives. “Alright, first question. Do you always listen to these advisors?”
“Usually. They know what’s best for me, even when I don’t.”
I nod. I’m not sure if they’re siblings, friends, co-workers. A therapist maybe?
“My turn,” Jax says as he grabs a tortilla to build a fajita. “If you weren’t here, where would you be?”
“Work.”
“Which is…”
“Too deep of a question,” I answer and he smiles.
“Right.”
We go back and forth like a tennis match, taking turns answering questions that bounce off the surfaces of our lives like skipping-stones on a pond but no deeper. I learn that he hates sports (odd for his persona) and he learns that I hate scary movies but love horror books. He doesn’t like cats, but they love him. I think meditation music is anxiety sparking. He knows all the words to every song on Frozen.
“Honstly, it’s hard to go anywhere without being flash mobbed by Idina Menzel’s voice,” I tell him. “It’s like she’s everywhere.”
“Everywhere,” he agrees, and we both realize it’s that time. The cantina is hopping and on a wait. We are in a prime section, and the bartender is coming by to ask if we need anything else frequently. It’s our cue to leave and she seems very invested in us. It’s also going to open the night up for debate on what’s next.
Jax pays as he said he would, and we make our way outside. The autumn air is warm still from the edges of summer, but the night breeze is starting to settle in. I take a deep breath, my nerves buzzing.
“So…” he says.
“So. I guess this is goodbye,” I say back.
Jax shoves his hands in his pockets with ease. “It doesn’t have to be.”
I swallow and straighten up a little. “I’m not going to have sex with you.”
Jax doesn’t even flinch. “We don’t have to.”
“No. We don’t. And that’s not why I am here. I am here because–” I stop. We aren’t supposed to disclose that. Fuck.
“Because of your friend and my advisors. I know. But that doesn’t mean the night has to be over. I had an amazing time with you, Libby. I’d be sad if we just walked away at that.”
I stare right at him.
Well…up at him.