Page 63 of Two for Holding
Tom had three helpings of it.
No one asked why Coach Morris got an invite to a usually team-only event.
Over dessert, Breezy and Jax brought up their plan.Jax had found a shelter for LGBTQIA+ teens that was thrilled with the offer of pro athletes donating time and money.Meanwhile, the team’s PR office, excited about engaging with the local community, planned a rollout of the project across all their platforms, headed by Kayleigh Williams.San Francisco remained a long way off from being a hockey town, but this might help.
“We’re going live on Wednesday in two weeks,” Jax explained, which was news to Tom.Two weeks.So soon.
Reactions were mixed.Gustafsson and Nieminen, Swedish and Finnish defensemen respectively, nodded in agreement but appeared more interested in the pie.It was pecan, the best kind of pie, so Tom understood.Dmitriyev and Abrahamov, on the other hand, exchanged laden looks and said nothing.
Howie expressed his support loudly and enthusiastically, right up until Vanderbilt said, “Can it, kid.You said what you said.You can’t undo it.”
Howie squared his jaw.“I can learn to do better though.”But he stared down at his dessert and didn’t meet anyone’s eye for the rest of the meal.
A protracted, awkward, awful silence followed before Hayes finally spoke up.
“Fine, I said a shitty thing, and I can’t take it back.And I’m still not thrilled about the line changes.But I hate losing.So if you guys need this to feel like a team again, okay.”
Though more akin to begrudging acceptance of mandated community service than enthusiasm for charity work, Tom would take it.In his role as captain, anyway.As a gay man, he didn’t know how he could stay friends with the guy.
With a start, he realized that at some point in the last few weeks, he’d become comfortable using those words to describe himself, albeit only in the confines of his own head.Before Jax, he’d thought about it obliquely, in ellipses, or not at all.It turned out the words themselves didn’t threaten his safety, only the reactions others might have to them.This was who he was, a gay man, and being around people he couldn’t trust to respect him as such didn’t feel good.
He left the get-together alone, still chewing on the revelation on the drive home.Tom didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, and Jax had cottoned on fast enough.His Uber followed, probably only a few cars behind Tom.It was silly, with Tom’s apartment and Jax’s hotel only a few blocks apart.
Jax must hate living in a hotel.
He could invite Jax over again, let him sleep in Tom’s comfortable bed on his superior pillows.He wanted to.He wanted Jax to make good on his promise from before, to know how it would feel when Jax went further.He wanted more kisses; he wanted less clothes; he wanted all of it with Jax, and thinking about it had him squirming uncomfortably in the driver’s seat.
It would be good.Tom had no doubt.But being around Jax and hearing him talk passionately about wanting to be out was changing Tom.It was changing him fast, which scared and thrilled him in equal measure.Going there with Jax, granting himself permission to feel all the things he so desperately wanted— Tom couldn’t help thinking there would be no turning back.
He went to bed alone.
It was safer, even if he could still smell Jax in his sheets.
twelve
Kayleigh [off-screen]: We’ve seen a lot of amazing goals coming off your line this season, even though you’ve never played together before.Why do you think that is?
Tom: Well, we have very complementary playing styles.And Jax is such a great player.It would be hard to play badly with him.
Jax: He’s being modest, like always.He’s so fast it’s insane.I can barely keep up.We work hard in practice to get used to each other, and the rest is just…
Tom: Chemistry.
Top comments:
grant16rules: So great to see Jax on the first line and really shining!
1682rox: When your hockey crush on a guy is so intense it turns into a real crush
(Video posted in The Rookery, the direct-to-consumer streaming service of the San Francisco Sea Lions and all associated teams, on 12/02/2024)
Jax had never been this horny in his entire life.
It was getting a little worrying.
Thanksgiving had been such a downer it hadn’t surprised him Tom didn’t want to hang out afterward, although Jax had been replaying that pleased little smile on Tom’s face at the thought of Jax tying him up and driving him crazy ever since.
He had plenty to occupy his time with getting the partnership with Pot of Gold, the shelter housing homeless LGBTQIA+ teens, up and running.Their three days of downtime were eaten up quickly with meetings.Jax had to wear a suit on an off day.He hoped it would be worth it.
