Page 21 of Two for Holding
Tom sank lower in his chair.“I don’t know… He was saying…stupid things, and I wanted him to shut up.”
East’s eyebrows rose.“Jax, he said something to you, right?”
Jax wanted to make a quip about his cocksucking mouth, hiding the truth behind a joke as he had a hundred times before, but he caught sight of Tom’s panicked face, eyes wide and frantic.His eyes were an odd color, a grayish blue which should have seemed cold but instead appeared deep.A man could get lost at sea in there.
His concerned expression triggered Jax’s understanding.Tom worried other people would find out about Jax, and it would spread around the league that impeccable, impenetrable Tom Crowler had a queer on his team.Of course.“Not a homophobe,” Jax’s perfectly round left ass cheek.He might not be calling Jax names to his face, but he didn’t want to be associated with his queerness either.
“Oh, you know,” Jax said vaguely.“The usual bullshit about why I got traded.”
Neither Hayes nor East had ever asked about his sudden appearance in San Francisco.Jax cursed himself for mentioning it and scrambled for a last-minute cover story involving a torrid affair with a fictional girl from the front office.But they continued their streak of disinterest despite having a perfect opportunity.Had hockey players always been so incurious, or was this a trait specific to the Sea Lions due to years of exposure to Tom’s particular brand of never talking about anything if he could help it?
East even seemed satisfied with the nonexplanation of why Tom had chosen to fight for the first time in his career.Jax would have thought he’d know his own best friend better, but he seemed to take Tom jumping into a fight over a perceived slight to Jax, of all people, at face value.Maybe the knee was too distracting for common sense.
“Philly’s coming up,” Hayesie pointed out instead of asking anything pertinent about the trade.“How’re you feeling about going back?”
Jax took a long draw of his shitty beer.“Pretty good,” he lied.
five
Olivia Starling [off-screen]: Are you looking forward to seeing your old team?
Jax: Oh, yeah, it’ll be great to see the guys.I’m meeting Fulls—that’s Tyson Fuller, Philly’s captain.We’re going out for lunch before the game.Wish I could get a cheesesteak, too, but my nutrition plan says I can’t.
Olivia Starling: Do you think it will be an advantage or a disadvantage, facing your old team?
Jax: Wow, you really want me to stay something stupid now, don’t you?
Top comments:
grant16rules: We miss you in Philly, Jax!
seelionssaylions: @grant16rules—Please take him back lol we will take a competent D-man and a tub of hair dye in his place
(From post-practice media availability, Sea Lions @ Magpies, posted to YouTube on 11/20/2024)
While the team flew to Carolina and the Twisters, Phil caught a commercial flight back to SFO and a waiting regiment of physical therapy.He told Tom to stop worrying; he told Tom it wasn’t his fault; he told Tom he’d be rehabbing his knee and sleeping in his own comfortable bed.
Tom did not stop worrying.
It was as if Phil didn’t know him at all.
He texted Phil from the team’s charter plane to see if he’d made it okay.The team had sprung for business class for Phil, but the seats still wouldn’t fully recline, and a six-hour flight was rough on a knee with a possible ACL tear.God, if he’d torn the ACL again, Phil would be out for at least the rest of the regular season, if not more.It could mean surgery.It could mean retirement.
Phil was only two years older than Tom.He’d hoped they would play together for a while yet.
To distract himself, Tom toggled to the text from his mom.
Mom:What on earth did you get into a fight for?It’s a good thing you still won!
He imagined telling her about the idiot on the Arches who had made a crack about Jax getting on his knees and then shuddered.If he thought about those awful words for too long, he’d get angry all over again.Lacking an explanation for his behavior beyond white-hot rage, he responded as he always did.
Thanks, Mom.
In the time it took him to write to his mom, Phil gave Tom’s message a thumbs-up but didn’t reply otherwise.
Tom texted Camille next.She didn’t even bother reading the messages.
He was debating whether he ought to text the team’s physical therapist, asking to be kept in the loop, or whether that would be too much, when Jax slid into the seat beside him.
